I have been married 8 years now. Sure a few things have changed but I am also no spring chicken either! First I must say intimacy goes way beyond just sex. To me personally it is the hand holding, the laughing with each other, watching TV while he runs his fingers through my hair, the looks he gives me when he kisses me. Those are the intimate things that happen daily and matter to me. 

I sometimes feel that as a society we have so much emphasis on sex. It's 
In commercials, ads even fast food!  Sex does not make a marriage all by itself. If that were true we all would have just stated single and have sex!  
I was married before briefly. 2 years 1 month from "I do" to legally divorced.  Looking back we had no intimacy just sex. When that's all you have in a marriage it's doomed to fail. Ok plus having sex with my sister through a wrench in it too! I realized when I feel in love with my husband that sadly I never was " in love " with him. I guess always having to be the only adult in the relationship may have had something to do with it too.  I have not seen or heard from him in 12 years. I sincerely hope he has found true love as I have. 

Don't get me wrong sex is very important in a marriage. To me its the one way your spirt and souls come together as one. Where you each get lost in each other. Has my MS changed our sex life. Sure a little. 
I have to give some of that credit to my antidepressant. You know for a pill that can do so much good it sure loves to mess with your sex life. I mean sure it makes me happier but it can and has caused the " inability to have one"! It plays mind tricks on me. What I mean is during that "time" my mind starts spinning thoughts. " oh no it's taking me too long"! I think too much during that time my husband says. I would NEVER fake it either. That's just not me! Plus how do you know if your overreacting or not? What happens if you should give an academy award winning performance and the next time you don't? Your husband/boyfriend could think he failed or doesn't do it for you anymore! That's a whole can of worms you don't want to open! So I say ...if you don't end up "making it" that's ok just "don't fake it"! 

That's all in the past. Once my body and mind got used to the antidepressant then things went back to normal, well sort of normal! 
MS effects my bladder and my intestines. Ok my sphincter too! Thank goodness my husband loves me and adores me. Because there is nothing more embarrassing then "pressure" down there causes your bladder to leak suddenly or you rip a fart! Over the years it has happened and will happen again. We have learned to just work through it at the time. Then we laugh at it afterwards. You can not stress about these things. You have to learn to roll with the leaks and farts! Lol 
Seriously freaking out about it will only end up giving you a complex and prevent you from enjoying yourself.  
I hope that everyone has a spouse or significant other that understands what we are going through and does not make a big deal when we have accidents! 

Here is some information I found online I thought you might find helpful. 

The ways in which MS can affect sexuality and expressions of intimacy can be divided into primary, secondary, and tertiary sexual dysfunction.

Primary sexual dysfunction stems directly from MS-related changes in the brain and spinal cord that affect the sexual response or the ability to feel sexual pleasure. In both men and women, this can include a decrease or loss of sex drive, decreased or unpleasant genital sensations, and diminished capacity for orgasm. Men may experience difficulty achieving or maintaining an erection and a decrease in or loss of ejaculatory force or frequency. Women may experience decreased vaginal lubrication, loss of vaginal muscle tone and/or diminished clitoral engorgement.

Secondary sexual dysfunction stems from MS-related symptoms that do not directly involve nerve pathways to the genital system, but nevertheless impair sexual pleasure or the sexual response. Secondary symptoms may include bladder and bowel problems, fatigue, spasticity, muscle weakness, body or hand tremors, impairments in attention and concentration, and non-genital sensory changes.

Tertiary sexual dysfunction results from disability-related psychosocial and cultural issues that can interfere with one’s sexual feelings and experiences. For example, some people find it difficult to reconcile the idea of being disabled with being fully sexually expressive. Changes in self-esteem– including the way one feels about one’s body – depression, demoralization or mood swings can all interfere with intimacy and sexuality. The sexual partnership can be severely challenged by changes within a relationship, such as one person becoming the other person’s caregiver. Similarly, changes in employment status or role performance within the household are often associated with emotional adjustments that can temporarily interfere with sexual expression. The strain of coping with MS challenges a couple’s efforts to communicate openly about their respective experiences and their changing needs for sexual expression and fulfillment.

To read the entire article:

http://www.msfocus.org/article-details.aspx?articleID=37

Have a fantastic day everyone! 

We have all been care givers and had received the help from a care giver. Most of us our care givers are our spouses or other loved ones. It is just natural to get frustrated caring for someone. 
My care giver is my husband. It is not too often when I really need him to help me. I am blessed that I can get around and function without much help. There is in my opinion a big difference between a husband caring for a wife and a wife caring for a husband. At least in my home. 

I learned very quickly when I went blind that my husband stresses out easily. He couldn't handle working and basically not coming home to everything already taken care of. I love him dearly but if his world does not keep going smoothly he doesn't deal with it well! I learned quickly to try to do everything I used to before I lost my eyesight. I had to because it was clear he was just too stressed out. Which is fine. Everyone is built to handle things differently. 

So now I will explain how when he is sick or hurting and needs me to care for him. He has Gout and gets flair ups often. I know he is in pain because where the Gout has flared up is swollen. Gout effects him usually in his feet, knees, wrists or elbows. If he is having a flare up in his wrist it's weird because he can't get off the couch for anything. Apparently it causes his legs to not work either. Otherwise why would I have to fluff his pillows, get him water, rub his wrist, refill his ice pack then prop his arm on a pillow with the ice pack. It just never stops!!! I am surprised he doesn't ask to be helped to the bathroom or to feed him his food! Men are BIG BABIES!! It seems like a common cold can bring them to the brink of death. 

It is clear to me why GOD gave woman the ability to have children. Only 1 man would have given birth. He then would have informed every single man, child and baby boy in the world that it HORRIFIC PAIN! Then the human race would have died off! 
Yes woman can handle pain better, stress better and dealing with their own kids. Shoot it's too stressful for a man to babysit his own kids. Doesn't know how to really do it and thinks if they screw it up bad enough then they won't be asked to do it again!!!   Ya I am on to his game!! Lol

Here is a few tips I found on care giver stress: 
Focus on what you are able to provide. Don't give in to guilt. Feeling guilty is normal, but understand that no one is a "perfect" caregiver. You're doing the best you can at any given time. Your house does not have to be perfect, and no one will care if you eat leftovers three days in a row. And you don't have to feel guilty about asking for help.

For the complete article click below.
Care giver stress fact sheet. 
womenshealth.gov/.../caregiver-stress.cf...

I hope everyone had a great weekend. Have a wonderful day!! 
Christine

So I am sitting around just waiting for my laxatives to work. Feeling overwhelming "solid as a rock"! I am getting frustrated that I am trapped in my house waiting for them to kick in. So after many hours have passed. I decide to go to the grocery store to grab a few things with my son. 

We get to the store and have put a couple of items in our cart. We are looking a some dog treats. Suddenly I am hit with this intestinal pain. I instantly know I need to get to the rest room. I tell my son "I gotta go to the bathroom right now"! He have no idea where the bathroom is at. I cross my legs in hopes that will put pressure on my sphincter. My sons face is of great concern. I wanted to just sit down on the floor! We decide to just leave the store quickly. We just left our shopping cart. We both walked as quickly possible trying to get to the car. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to try a walk quickly while trying to keep your butt muscles clinched? I am surprised store security didn't run after us because we left the store so quickly. My son is slightly ahead of me. I think he is trying to get away from me incase I end up loosing my load in the parking lot. This offends me as I went through an extremely painful labor to bring him into this world! 

He gets to the car and puts a blanket on my seat. I am so happy I made it to the car. I am not that far from home. We start to drive out exceeding the speed limits of the parking lot. I was clinching so tight I was hopeful I would make it home. As we exited onto the road "an eruption happened"! I was mad and my son laughed. He tells me "oh I was so scared you were going to go in the store and it would roll out your pants"! I laughed and said " sorry it wouldn't have been anything solid it would have ran out my pant legs"! So there we are laughing in the car with this windows down so we are not overwhelmed with the poop odor! 

Can someone explain to me why if I had stayed at home. My trip to the bathroom would have been different. What I mean is my constipation seems to feel like I am pooping a peach pit or broken glass! But the minute I step outside of my house it turns is mush! I guess it's just a game my intestines like to play! I am not a fan of this game at all! Thank goodness I was sitting on a blanket. When we got home I just held onto the blanket as if it were a huge diaper. I didn't want anything to drop! If you know what I mean! Lol

When will I learn to NEVER go anywhere on a laxative day? I think I did today!!! Lol  This the second time this has happened to me. Both times my son was with me in the car. Well you know the saying... Fool me once shame on you...fool me twice shame on me! Lol 

Well one good thing is I am not so solid anymore! Or I guess you could say I am not so "full of crap" anymore! 

I hope you all had a great laugh. Now that it is over I too am laughing at the situation too! 

Have a wonderful day! Keep laughing my friends. 

I am so tired of my constipation. It is a feeling of solidness in my abdomen. I am extremely gassy. It feels like its right at the edge but just wants to stay there. Oh how I miss the good-o-days of regularity! 
I was out of my vegetable laxatives tonight.  My husband says let's go get some. Ok it was 9:00 pm and it's Friday night. So I drive so he can run in to our Walmart. Plus my dog wanted to go. So we get to Walmart and the parking lot was packed. I pull up in front of the store. I park on the sidewalk. It's flat with those yellow bumps. People park here when the are loading something big. I always park there if I am waiting in the car. Some people give me a look but I don't care. As I said it was very busy.  A few groups of teenagers were hanging out in the parking lot. Very odd. Some were at the end of the parking lot with there tailgate down sitting and talking to others. I guess kids have no money so they are just hanging out in parking lots. 
So when my husband had been inside Walmart for over 15 minutes. I knew he would not be happy. I could tell by the way he was walking that he was mad. He hates to wait in long lines. He got into the car and was mad. He said it took him 10 minutes to find the laxatives. He handed me the bottle and it was the wrong ones! It was kinda funny but I didn't laugh in the car. Lol I hope it works!!! I already feel solid! Lol 

Leaky bladder and being full of poop don't mix!! I guess it's better then the both of them leaky!! 

Have a fantastic Saturday! 

New drug approved by FDA for Relapsing Remitting MS!!!!

Her is information on this exciting new drug!

WASHINGTON—The Food and Drug Administration on Wednesday approved a Sanofi SA SAN.FR -0.55% pill to treat multiple sclerosis, making it the second oral therapy that will be available on the U.S. market.


The drug, teriflunomide, will be sold with the brand name Aubagio to treat people with the relapsing remitting form of MS.


Multiple sclerosis is a progressive disease that involves damage to nerves controlling muscles and vision; it affects about 400,000 Americans and 2.5 million people world-wide.


The condition causes the body's immune system to eat away at the protective covering of the nerves, or myelin, which disrupts the electrical signals between the brain and the rest of the body. Most MS patients are of the "relapsing-remitting" type, where the disease flares up periodically and largely disappears for long periods.


Aubagio will compete with Novartis AG's NOVN.VX +0.45% oral pill Gilenya, which was approved by the FDA in 2010 and has been available in Europe since 2011.


FDA said a clinical trial showed the relapse rate for patients using Aubagio was about 30% lower than the rate for those taking a placebo, or sugar pill.


The product was approved with FDA's strictest boxed warning discussing risk of liver problems, which can lead to death, and birth defects. The agency said women of childbearing age need to have a negative pregnancy test before starting Aubagio drug and use birth control during treatment.


The FDA also said doctors should use blood tests to check liver function before a patient starts taking Aubagio and periodically during treatment.


I personally am always afraid of taking new drugs. I feel even though the FDA as approved something is not enough for me. I like to wait a year or so. Shoot I didn't allow my son to get the chicken pox vaccine for 4 years after it came out. 


I think it may be easy for me to say I would wait to use this new drug. I am doing fantastic on Copaxone. I guess I would think differently if I was not. I hate the thought of someone taking a new drug because they are desperate for a "cure". I have seen so many drugs that were approved by the FDA then pulled off the market. Like Redux and Finfin the diet "miracle" drug. Shorty after people were dying and suffering major cardiac problems. There have been a few Rheumatoid Arthritis that have been removed as well. My aunt died from one of these drugs. She took it after the serious side effects had come out. She decided to   Continue taking because the medicine did help her. It's sad that we are willing to risk our lives to take medicine that provides us some relief and a glimmer of hope. I guess at times like that we have to decide quality of life over length of life. 


It's a tough choice for everyone. I just want everyone to be fully informed before they make a choice to take any medication. This applies to newly approved drugs and older ones. We are all very different human beings and need to remember this when reading possible side effects. 

Have a blessed wonderful day!!

I hope you all enjoyed yesterday's embarrassing stories because I saved the best two for last! 
This story takes place in 1994. I was a single mom and I looking for love. Except i was looking in all the wrong places. This was before Match.com or any of the internet dating site were popular. Back then what was popular (at least in my area) was personal adds in our local newspaper. Sure I had my share of weirdos but there were a few that actually were nice normal men. Still friends with two of them. I had been talking to this guy on the phone for a few weeks. I can not for the life of me remember his name. So we will call him Scott. A few days before we were going to meet I had bought the cutest black and white plaid short set. I washed it when I got home to have it ready for our date. The day comes and he picked me up. I know that was crazy but he was harmless. I was wearing my cute new short set. We went to a park to sit and get to know each other. After an hour he says he would like for me to meet his brother. He then says lets go to the movies. I said ok. He says let's run by my brothers house so he can meet you. Then I will drop you off at your house. You pick a movie and call me. We were planning on going to the movies that evening. We stopped by his brothers. His brother came out to his truck to meet me. He then dropped me off and says "don't forget to call me and tell me the movie time". I drive over to pick up my son at my mothers house. Before I left I picked the movie and left him a message on the time. I walked into my moms and walked past my sister. She started busting out laughing. I said what! She said OMG the back of your shorts are completely split open. I was in shock! I went in the bathroom and looked in the mirror. They were not just split they has unraveled and there was a good inch gap. It was just showing my underwear to the world. I thought I was gonna die. I just knew he had noticed this when we walked at the park. I wondered what in the world he must have thought of me! See I couldn't have asked him that since I never heard from him again. It's even more embarrassing that he took me to meet his brother. He must have went into his brothers house and said "omg you gotta check this chick out"! "Her entire butt is split out and showing everything"! It took me a few days to get over the embarrassment of that day. I took the outfit back! I can laugh at this now but certainly not then! 
Now get ready because this one is the ULTIMATE of embarrassment! 
It's 2004 I was married to my Boo Doug. I had just started a new job. I was an office manager for a sprinkler system company. There were about 7 employees that worked in the office. It was my second day and I had started my period the night before. I hate having to go to work when I am on my period. I have had horrible ones around this time. I mean I wore a tampon and two maxi pads to make a longer maxi pad. I checked every two hours for leaks. Everything was going good. A few of the other ladies were training me on the computer for tasks that would be mine. The ladies were all nice and friendly. So on this day on of the ladies had shown me what she does. She taught me how to input the information into the computer. She then left me at her desk and went to lunch. I was doing just fine processing the paperwork. I got up to go do my "period check". I was wearing a black short skirt and black tights. As I sat down on the toilet I was horrified to see I had leaked off my maxi pad. It was hard to tell if any had leaked onto my skirt as it was black. I put on new maxis and quickly went out just to make sure I had not leaked on her chair. As I turned the corner I was mortified! There she was on her frickin knees scrubbing the seat of her chair! I guess that answers that question.....yes I bleed on her frickin chair!!!!!! 
I tell you I will never get that image out of my mind. I just wanted to run out the door and never return again. I could not do this. So I quickly went up to her a kept apologizing over and over again. I told her to stop trying to clean it up and that I would. First of all if the situation had been reversed. I would have NEVER attempted to clean it up someone else's blood myself. That's just gross but she did have latex gloves on! BUT STILL I am not sure I would have or could have handled that as nicely as she did. 
I cleaned her chair but there was still a slight mark on it. I did not stay long at this job. A banking job making a lot more money was offered. The day I left that job and was saying my goodbyes to the other ladies. I said to her "well I guess I never have to worry that you'll forget about me"! She laughed. I am sure that everyone else new too! I mean I couldn't have kept that to myself if it had happened to me!!! Lol...heck no they would have had to buy me a new chair! Lol

I hope you enjoyed a good laugh because they are funny stories! I am happy that you laughed and enjoyed my embarrassing moments. I too can laugh at them now!! But I still get that  sick feeling in my stomach from a bad embarrassment. Lol

Embarrassing Moments
I am sure we have all had our share of embarrassing moments. I have a few I think you will enjoy and have a good laugh. 
Let's first go back to 1984. I was 15 years old. Back then dressing like Madonna and wearing neon colors was cool. My hair was short like a mans and dyed a blonde-ish yellow. It was a cheap hair dye and I have a lot of natural red hair.  I spiked it up and used a sharpie to color the tips black.  I had one of those big coats like they wore in the movie Flash Dance. I don't know why but I had safety pins all over my coat. I know it's funny now but I thought I was "styling and profiling"! So my friends and I went to our county fair. Back then it was popular for actors from soap operas to be there. They would sign autographs. On this day Fiona Hughes was there. At the time she was very popular on General Hospital. Her character was Anna Devain and she was in a romance with a character named Duke. So it was me and my friend Kim and her mother. We waited in line for about 45 minutes. All of us talked about what question we would ask her. We tossed around a few questions to each other. So as my turn approached I became nervous. I was the first one of us to go up and ask a question. She said hello and I froze.  So you ask yourself what did I say? I opened my mouth and out poured.....does Duke have bad breath! Fiona Hughes stared at me and says...."I am sorry do I have bad breath"? I just stood there saying nothing. My friends mother grabbed my arm and all three of us just walked away. They never even got to speak to her or get her autograph. 
It's been 28 years and I still get teased today! Birthday and Christmas cards occasionally say...does Duke still have bad breath! 
Now we go to 1985 I was a junior in high school. I rode the city bus to school if my sister didn't go to school. I didn't want to walk alone. I walk across the street and wait at the bus stop. Looking cool of course. I see the bus is getting close. I stand up and walk closer to the curb. I see the bus turn on its blinker to pull over to get me. At that exact moment my nose started bleeding. I am not talking about a tiny nose bleed. It was bleeding pretty good. I had no tissue. So I was using my hand to cup the blood. I was in a panic. I didn't know what to do. So I did the most logical thing to do. As the bus pulled up and started to stop. I turned around and walked into the bushes! I freaked! There I was standing in the bushes facing the wall. The bus came to a complete stop. I heard the doors open. I am sure the driver was looking To see if I was going to step out of the bushes. To me it seemed like the bus was sitting there for a lifetime. It was about 30 seconds or so. Then the driver shut the doors and drove off. I waited about 3 minutes before I Turned around and walked out of the bushes. I went back home humiliated. My sisters sure had a good laugh that day! 
Ok have you stopped laughing? Ready for the next one? Here I go. It was 1990. I was going to a junior college in the day and I worked at night at a motel. I was the desk clerk. It was right off a freeway exit. A lot of their customers were truck drivers and hookers. Occasionally we would get some elderly people. I would try to save the down stairs rooms for them. I would say that 75% of the time when I was checking in a truck driver or hooker. As soon as I set the room key on the counter and they saw it was upstairs. They would always have the same excuse. "ohh I have a bad back or a bad leg and wanted a downstairs room". I got so tired of hearing the same excuses for being lazy. So one day I snapped! I was checking in a truck driver. I dropped a room key for an upstairs room on the counter. He immediately started to talk. I cut him off quickly and said "let me guess you have a bad leg like everyone else in this town"! I didn't even wait for a response. I just turned to get another room key. As I turned around the truck driver had plopped his prosthetic leg onto the counter and said "as a matter of fact I do"! I wanted to die! The one frickin time I spoke up and said something! Unbelievable! I didn't say another word to him! I never said anything to another customer again! 
I will save the last two for tomorrow! They are good ones too so be sure to read my blog tomorrow. 
I hope you had a few laughs! 

Embarrassing Moments
I am sure we have all had our share of embarrassing moments. Stumbling, tripping or falling. MS has many tricks up its sleeve! This embarrassing moments all happened pre-MS. I hope you enjoy and have a good laugh!
I have a few I think you will enjoy and have a good laugh. 
Let's first go back to 1984. I was 15 years old. Back then dressing like Madonna and wearing neon colors was cool. My hair was short like a mans and dyed a blonde-ish yellow. It was a cheap hair dye and I have a lot of natural red hair.  I spiked it up and used a sharpie to color the tips black.  I had one of those big coats like they wore in the movie Flash Dance. I don't know why but I had safety pins all over my coat. I know it's funny now but I thought I was "styling and profiling"! So my friends and I went to our county fair. Back then it was popular for actors from soap operas to be there. They would sign autographs. On this day Fiona Hughes was there. At the time she was very popular on General Hospital. Her character was Anna Devain and she was in a romance with a character named Duke. So it was me and my friend Kim and her mother. We waited in line for about 45 minutes. All of us talked about what question we would ask her. We tossed around a few questions to each other. So as my turn approached I became nervous. I was the first one of us to go up and ask a question. She said hello and I froze.  So you ask yourself what did I say? I opened my mouth and out poured.....does Duke have bad breath! Fiona Hughes stared at me and says...."I am sorry do I have bad breath"? I just stood there saying nothing. My friends mother grabbed my arm and all three of us just walked away. They never even got to speak to her or get her autograph. 
It's been 28 years and I still get teased today! Birthday and Christmas cards occasionally say...does Duke still have bad breath! 
Now we go to 1985 I was a junior in high school. I rode the city bus to school if my sister didn't go to school. I didn't want to walk alone. I walk across the street and wait at the bus stop. Looking cool of course. I see the bus is getting close. I stand up and walk closer to the curb. I see the bus turn on its blinker to pull over to get me. At that exact moment my nose started bleeding. I am not talking about a tiny nose bleed. It was bleeding pretty good. I had no tissue. So I was using my hand to cup the blood. I was in a panic. I didn't know what to do. So I did the most logical thing to do. As the bus pulled up and started to stop. I turned around and walked into the bushes! I freaked! There I was standing in the bushes facing the wall. The bus came to a complete stop. I heard the doors open. I am sure the driver was looking To see if I was going to step out of the bushes. To me it seemed like the bus was sitting there for a lifetime. It was about 30 seconds or so. Then the driver shut the doors and drove off. I waited about 3 minutes before I Turned around and walked out of the bushes. I went back home humiliated. My sisters sure had a good laugh that day! 
Ok have you stopped laughing? Ready for the next one? Here I go. It was 1990. I was going to a junior college in the day and I worked at night at a motel. I was the desk clerk. It was right off a freeway exit. A lot of their customers were truck drivers and hookers. Occasionally we would get some elderly people. I would try to save the down stairs rooms for them. I would say that 75% of the time when I was checking in a truck driver or hooker. As soon as I set the room key on the counter and they saw it was upstairs. They would always have the same excuse. "ohh I have a bad back or a bad leg and wanted a downstairs room". I got so tired of hearing the same excuses for being lazy. So one day I snapped! I was checking in a truck driver. I dropped a room key for an upstairs room on the counter. He immediately started to talk. I cut him off quickly and said "let me guess you have a bad leg like everyone else in this town"! I didn't even wait for a response. I just turned to get another room key. As I turned around the truck driver had plopped his prosthetic leg onto the counter and said "as a matter of fact I do"! I wanted to die! The one frickin time I spoke up and said something! Unbelievable! I didn't say another word to him! I never said anything to another customer again! 
I will save the last two for tomorrow! They are good ones too so be sure to read my blog tomorrow. 
I hope you had a few laughs! 

I hate having my "dainty" bladder. It's hard enough to go out shopping then add in my pea sized bladder and it spells disaster. I HATE using public restrooms. They are gross, dirty and stinky. So it kills me when I have to use them. Walmart's are the worst! I swear they haven't been cleaned for months. All poignant aromas wofting in the air. Do you know how hard it is to go into a stinky stall trying not to gag! I take my shirt and try to hold it up or over my nose. I do this to smell my perfume and avoid puking. So I am holding my shirt over my nose and trying to pull my shorts down. Then when this has been accomplished I hover over the toilet. I don't sit on them. Most of the time they do not have the toilet seat covers which I call "ass gaskets". Plus and I may be alone in this one. I am often hot and sweaty so if I sit on an "ass gasket" it will stick to my butt. This creates a problem with my T-Rex like arms. I can't tell you how many times a piece has tore off and stuck where I can't grab. So hovering creates a few problems as well. You can splash on yourself or the toilet seat. But for me the worst is the toilet paper problems. Keep in mind I have one hand holding my shirt over my mouth, I am hovering and the try to use the toilet paper with one hand. I can not explain how this happens to me. It has happened sadly far too many times. I think I must be a quick tissue user. Then I pull up my clothes too quick. That's the only reason I can think of how toilet paper ends up streaming out the back of my shorts! Just blowing in the breeze for everyone to see! What would Mrs. Manners say to this? How do you approach someone and tell them they have a dangling strip of toilet paper caught in they waistband. I know every time it's happened to me (4times) it is the ultimate embarrassing moment. One of the times was at my home but it was just as embarrassing because it was my son that spotted it! I guess I need to slow down while using the toilet paper to avoid further toilet paper tails!!!

Trivia questions:

Yesterday's answer: Whelps are otters. 

Today's: What is a young salmon called?
A) Fry
B) Alevin
C) Parr
D) all of the above

What has happened to our kids? I grew up respecting all adults. I never called my parents horrible names or talked to them with complete disrespect. I am a loving mother, wife and sister. Where did I go wrong in my parenting? I was a single mom for most of my sons life. I worked and busted my butt to provide him with everything I could. I didn't get any support from his biological father or my family. I had to water down his formula a little. Couldn't change his diaper every time he peed because I could only afford 4 packs of diapers a month. My son was diagnosed ADHD. So my family didn't want to watch him a lot. I struggled to work, pay for daycare, keep food on our table and a roof over our heads. In the end we made it through the tough times. I wasn't always the best mother. I yelled a lot. I can admit I have very little patience. I was never a game playing cookie baking type of mom. I love my son but I enjoyed working. I am sure my son has more complaints about me. I did the very best I could for him. Any complaints he may have he can take it up with a therapist and deal with it! 
I am the one person that has always stood by his side and helped fight all the battles in his life. Maybe that's where I went wrong. I over compensated for being away at work and fought battles he didn't need to win. I think I over protected him. I sometimes wish I could go back and do things over and be a better parent. I can't do that so I have to live with the consequences. 
What I mean by that is mainly school. After working and commuting then getting home at 7 at night. Cooking dinner, laundry then cleaning I was tired. I would ask him if he had homework. He would say no or he did it already. BIG MISTAKE! I think he thought I didn't care so he didn't. 
So fast forward to him going to be 21 in January. No high school diploma. Tried culinary school and accounting school and quit that too. Has had several jobs that didn't last. I am terrified that if I were to die today my son would not be able to survive in the world. He barley speaks to my husband. They had a blow out few months ago. I made my husband promise me that if I die first he won't kick out my son. I have tried to motivate my son. I just don't know what else to do. He found a temporary  job but it doesn't start until October.  He hangs out with friends, parties and plays video games. I don't want to kick him out because he has no where to go. I couldn't handle the thought of him on the streets. I would be afraid he would get hurt or end up in jail. I know my son loves me I just feel at times I am trapped. I love him very much and I want him to grow up and be a responsible young man. 
I have supported myself since I was 18 1/2 years old. We moved back to California on June 6, 1987. My mother and younger went directly to my brothers house in Fresno to visit. They were going to then come back here to Modesto and we were going to get a place to live. I was staying with my sister. She was renting a room from a friend. After a week my mother called and informed me that she and my younger sister were staying in Fresno with my brother and his family. I was told there was no room for me. I called my father who had an extra room. I asked if I could live with him. He said he had to talk to my step mother. She HATED kids! He called me back and told me she had said no because I would be taking the guest room. Then they wouldn't be able to have guests over. I ever remember them having guests stay the night. I was upset and told my father I was going to be homeless. He simply said he was sorry and couldn't help me. I just wish my father had stood up to his wife just one time back then. 
I immediately got a job as a maid at a hotel. My older sister and I got a studio apartment together. We had no furniture. She had a twin bed. We split it and I slept on the box spring. It was a tiny place but it was ours. I walked to work or road the bus if I had change. I grew up fast. I made hardly no money aside from rent and bills. Food...we ate what we could afford. I learned the meaning of hungry. I feel it was those times of constant struggles that gave me the drive for life I have now. Sure my life would have had a different outcome if I had not had to struggle. I often wonder how my life would have turned out if I had parents and a family that had helped me. Oh well I can't dwell on the "what ifs". 
So how can I motivate my son so he can obtain a job and support himself? I just thought maybe I have been overprotective of my son because I know how it feels to have no one. So if you have some ideas I would love to hear them. If anyone would like a house guest I can send him!!! Lol 
My husband and I joke that the only way we are ever going to get my son to move out is if we got into the witness protection and were relocated! Lol 
Why is being a parent so hard at times? What's the best thing for my son? I don't know but I know is I want things to change! 

I hope you all have a great Monday! Don't forget to laugh today! It's the best medicine after all. 

Trivia: Yesterday's answer: A flapper grows up to be a wild duck. 

Today's question: The parents of a whelp are which creatures? 
A) Otters
B) Frogs
C) Zebras
D) Ferrets