As I told all of you I over did it last week. I alway try to be positive, at least when it comes to my health. If any of you ran into me somewhere your first impression might be "she's not sick". That of coarse if you over looked my chunky, (that's better than saying obese) damp and sweaty flushed face self! Ok back to the topic I can easily get off track! I unless am over tired walk normal. Well as drunkish normal someone with MS can walk. I don't have to use a cane I hold onto the shopping cart.
Since Wednesday it seems I have gone to the "dark side". I call it this because I hoped I would never actually go there. I am walking like...ok I am just gonna say it! MY MOTHER!
I grew up in a divorced disfuntional family. Before I go any further I have to say I love my mother. As a teenager I saw my father leave us. My mother was with him for 21 years. Needless to say she didn't handle it very well. I am not heartless I would expect it to be a difficult transition. My mother freaked out. My older sister Cathy stepped into our mothers place. I don't remember most of my childhood. I am not sure why I have subconsciously blocked it out. I do have a vivid memory of my mother throughing herself onto the ground. She I guess was having a nervous breakdown. She wouldn't move or get up. My sister called an ambulance. I was 14 when this happened. I remember thinking to my self that I would NEVER completely give myself to a man. I as my husband tells me from time to time "you are a man hater". I have to agree somewhat. I have never been in a relationship where I have to financially depend on a man. My cars were always in my name. I maintained my own checking acct. well at least until I married my soulmate Doug. I never wanted to be in the situation my mom was in. No real work history, no credit in her name and begging the man who cheated on her AGAIN to please stay. Even at 14 I knew she really didn't want him back but she knew she and her kids depended on my father financially. It broke my heart to see her on her knees begging him not to leave us. I know how hard that choice was for her to make. I know she wished she could have done her life differently. I as a woman know for 100% certainy that my mother wished she could have thrown him out on his butt. I think of the Nancy Sinatra song "these boots are made for walking". I think thats the name of the song.
As I grew up I always worked. Until I was diagnosed in 1992 with my heart condition. After four years I was able to then work again. Every job I have had to busted my butt and worked my way in higher positions. I have no college education but I was highly depended on and paid rather well in the banking/ mortgage industries.
My was married before briefly. I will say I believe when a marriage falls apart both are equal in the in the dissolution of the marriage. Well...I have to say my first marriage was about 75/25 in his favor. I was so bent on not allowing a man to have any hold or control over me. Sadly one night he was drunk again and was crying and told me "I am not gonna be your bitch anymore"! After our divorce years later I could still hear him say this to me. I realized that I was a control freak that was determined to not allow a man into my heart completely. If I ever ran into him, which he still lives in my town. I would sencerely apologize to him. I treated him as if he was "my bitch". If its any conciliation to him. I did learn to open up and allow a loving man into my heart. As I said lets not forget he did a lot of horrible things. He had an affair with a coworker and....he did have sex with my younger sister! Ya!!! For real!!!
So back to the topic. I love my mother but I do not want to ever act the way she did or does. As the week goes on I have been feeling and looking like someone who is disabled. Seriously tonight I told my son to keep checking on me. I feel that bad! He just came in to check on me. He said "how are you feeling Seabisquit". I said why do I have to be a horse? He said earlier when I woke up my hair was puffy and out of control. He told me it looked like a horses mane. It was a funny look. I even took a picture on my phone. I will make it my picture for todays blog. That way you can have a visual picture!
I do not like being sick. I hate having to sleep most of the day away. I feel like people may think I am just faking or blowing things out of proportion. (one guess where I got that from.....ya your right my mom. So if my husband or anyone else calls me by my mothers name or tells me I am acting like her....those are fighting words!!!! I joke with my husband and tell him......if you call me that name again or refer that I am acting like her.....it's your choice. One of us is going to the morgue and the other is going to jail! You decide!! Lol I am kidding! I don't promote violence. Just a funny story. So to sum up this whole story. I am walking and sighing like my mom! Ohh that leaves a bad taste in my mouth! Lol
Trivia:
Yesterday's answer is gum.
Today's trivia is: To break the sound barrier, you need to fly a)120.3 mph, b)760 mph, c)5100 mph?
Have a great day and remember to smile and laugh! That means you too Candace!!
Since Wednesday it seems I have gone to the "dark side". I call it this because I hoped I would never actually go there. I am walking like...ok I am just gonna say it! MY MOTHER!
I grew up in a divorced disfuntional family. Before I go any further I have to say I love my mother. As a teenager I saw my father leave us. My mother was with him for 21 years. Needless to say she didn't handle it very well. I am not heartless I would expect it to be a difficult transition. My mother freaked out. My older sister Cathy stepped into our mothers place. I don't remember most of my childhood. I am not sure why I have subconsciously blocked it out. I do have a vivid memory of my mother throughing herself onto the ground. She I guess was having a nervous breakdown. She wouldn't move or get up. My sister called an ambulance. I was 14 when this happened. I remember thinking to my self that I would NEVER completely give myself to a man. I as my husband tells me from time to time "you are a man hater". I have to agree somewhat. I have never been in a relationship where I have to financially depend on a man. My cars were always in my name. I maintained my own checking acct. well at least until I married my soulmate Doug. I never wanted to be in the situation my mom was in. No real work history, no credit in her name and begging the man who cheated on her AGAIN to please stay. Even at 14 I knew she really didn't want him back but she knew she and her kids depended on my father financially. It broke my heart to see her on her knees begging him not to leave us. I know how hard that choice was for her to make. I know she wished she could have done her life differently. I as a woman know for 100% certainy that my mother wished she could have thrown him out on his butt. I think of the Nancy Sinatra song "these boots are made for walking". I think thats the name of the song.
As I grew up I always worked. Until I was diagnosed in 1992 with my heart condition. After four years I was able to then work again. Every job I have had to busted my butt and worked my way in higher positions. I have no college education but I was highly depended on and paid rather well in the banking/ mortgage industries.
My was married before briefly. I will say I believe when a marriage falls apart both are equal in the in the dissolution of the marriage. Well...I have to say my first marriage was about 75/25 in his favor. I was so bent on not allowing a man to have any hold or control over me. Sadly one night he was drunk again and was crying and told me "I am not gonna be your bitch anymore"! After our divorce years later I could still hear him say this to me. I realized that I was a control freak that was determined to not allow a man into my heart completely. If I ever ran into him, which he still lives in my town. I would sencerely apologize to him. I treated him as if he was "my bitch". If its any conciliation to him. I did learn to open up and allow a loving man into my heart. As I said lets not forget he did a lot of horrible things. He had an affair with a coworker and....he did have sex with my younger sister! Ya!!! For real!!!
So back to the topic. I love my mother but I do not want to ever act the way she did or does. As the week goes on I have been feeling and looking like someone who is disabled. Seriously tonight I told my son to keep checking on me. I feel that bad! He just came in to check on me. He said "how are you feeling Seabisquit". I said why do I have to be a horse? He said earlier when I woke up my hair was puffy and out of control. He told me it looked like a horses mane. It was a funny look. I even took a picture on my phone. I will make it my picture for todays blog. That way you can have a visual picture!
I do not like being sick. I hate having to sleep most of the day away. I feel like people may think I am just faking or blowing things out of proportion. (one guess where I got that from.....ya your right my mom. So if my husband or anyone else calls me by my mothers name or tells me I am acting like her....those are fighting words!!!! I joke with my husband and tell him......if you call me that name again or refer that I am acting like her.....it's your choice. One of us is going to the morgue and the other is going to jail! You decide!! Lol I am kidding! I don't promote violence. Just a funny story. So to sum up this whole story. I am walking and sighing like my mom! Ohh that leaves a bad taste in my mouth! Lol
Trivia:
Yesterday's answer is gum.
Today's trivia is: To break the sound barrier, you need to fly a)120.3 mph, b)760 mph, c)5100 mph?
Have a great day and remember to smile and laugh! That means you too Candace!!
I know it's just too darn sexy!! Lol
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