Dieting!!! Since my tachyacardia episode I have been dieting. I have been eating light and staying strict to the low sodium. I have lost 23 pounds. I was really hoping if I lost weight the cardiologist would say I wouldn't have to get ZAPPED! I still do. I am still trying to loose weight. I can not do too much as my heart will not allow too much activity. My cardiologist said to listen to my body. I said "oh I do if I get dizzy or out of breath I sit down and rest". I told him " I am not gonna die trying to dishes......trust me"! So I have not started to try to go for walks. Honestly it scares me. I am afraid it will raise my heart rate too high. Over 100 is dangerous and I can end up back in the hospital. Yesterday I wanted to do some sit ups. It sounds easy enough. I was a little afraid that I would fart as I rolled up each time. I had my husband hold my feet. He said ok go..........crickets.......I tried to roll up but I couldn't. As any fellow fattie knows when we are laying down say on an exam table. We get up by kicking up a leg which then gives us the boost we need to lift our big butts up off the table! I couldn't do one darn sit up! My husband took my hands and we did 5 sit ups with him pulling me up and down by my hands! My back did make a pop and it felt good.
Then after I did my 5 foo-sit ups I rolled over like a beached whale and crawled to my knees to the chaise to drag myself up. Boy I was out of breath!!! I know it's sad but it's true! Lol he wants to try again tonight but I do not advise as it is laxative day......and we all know how those days have ended in the past! Lmao!

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I hope you all have a great day!
GOD bless you all
Christine

Have no fear.........I am still hear!!!
I am getting stronger each day. Sunday my blood pressure and heart rate were high. I had just taken my medicine. My husband freaked out and called 911! I am laying in bed and few minutes later I have 2 EMT's and 4-5 firefighters in my room. Now I think this may have been a fantasy at one time but I don't think I was frail and sick and definitely my husband wasn't there! Ohh another funny thing. I am not exaggerating when I say all the firefighters looked like a cross between a Oompa Loompa and a "Guido" (you know a no neck TV Mafia guy) . Ohh well I guess I didn't get specific enough in that fantasy!! LOL

Ohh GREAT news!! My husband had to go last Thursday to Unemployment Court. Yes the so called "Christian Company" he busted his butt for for 8 years and neglected to properly provide him and all the people in the painting department with proper respirators. Which caused SEVERE lung damage to my husband. Well this company ohh its In-N-Out Burger appealed once with unemployment and list. Appealed last Thursday for a second time. I am not kidding when I tell you we got these judges decision on Monday! He stated that they fired him for reasons other then misconduct, which is the reason the fired him. So they are screwed! Our lawyer loved it! Now what can they say in court with the wrongful termination when even the unemployment law judges twice told them they had NO grounds for termination! Karma it's a bitch sometimes when your evil!

Well I hope everyone is doing well. It's been great great weather here in California. Today it was 75!

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Thanks
Christine

Ventricular Tachycardia ... Is nothing you ever want to hear doctors tell you have in an emergency room. That wasn't the scariest thing I was told either....it was that they were possibly going to have to electrically shock my heart.
I am still very exhausted and trying to get my strength back. My doctor said the 4 days before when I couldn't breath right I was in already in tachycardia. I am so glad to be alive!

So it's short today. We all know we are not promised tomorrow and we should live each each day to the fullest. Do we do that??? I mean do do we really? Can you say if you didn't wake up in the morning that you lived each day to your ability ?

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Thank you,
Christine

Children....what do we do when a teenager becomes defiant, disrespectful, hateful, rude and screams? This is what my husband and I have been going through with his son for the past month. I was not the bad guy. I was still the nice one. Well that changed today in a big way. We have taken away his cell phone until his grades come up. As incentive we check his grades on Friday and if some grades have gotten higher and none lower we let him have the phone over the weekend. Well Friday my husband didn't want to check. I checked tonight. His favorite class history he did no work all week and his grade was a 20%. I personally wouldn't give him his phone on the weekend and dad lets him have that play station all the time. He has 4 f's and 1 D and a C. He would have no privileges if it were up to me. This is a child that was in AP classes! He is very intelligent and is an A & B student.

All day today he has been screaming and yelling in his room. When his father went in to get his cell phone he told him "NO" he wasn't going to give it to him! My husband tried to grab it from him. They ended up rolling on his bed. I went in there. My husband was telling him to give him the phone. Evan was yelling he wasn't f'ing getting it. I tried to grab the phone but Evan ended up pushing me into the entertainment center. I was very upset because he is well ware of my heart failure. He ended up throwing the cell phone and screaming more. We left the room. He was still screaming from his room saying how much he hated me then his dad. He said his dad was nothing but a worthless shit kicker. Then I was nothing too because all I do is play my games all day. I was pissed I yelled I am dying you little ungrateful brat!
This hate yelling and telling use we were shitty parents and he hated us went on and on. He came out to get some water from the Brita pitcher. When you pour yourself a glass you fill the pitcher back up. Doug said fill it up. As if he had authority for someone he said NO! His dad said yes. He told his father that apparently we were in a war and were were not going to win. Then he took the towels out of the dryer. His dad said to fold them. Again he said NO! His dad said oh you didn't use any if them. He said I don't care and I am not folding them. Then went into his room. I told Doug ok he want a war....he can have a war, but he will not win a war with me! I will fix him. He doesn't want to fold the towels. I folded them and then took every single towel , hand towel and wash cloth out of my house. I hope he enjoys either not showering before school or drying off with a blanket from his bed. When he goes to school tomorrow we are taking every book and magazine out if his room. All he will have is his bed and night stand. He is lucky I don't put the bed on the floor. I have been through this rodeo before with my son. The police were involved many times with him in his early teenage years. I am just worried my heart can't handle the stress this time. Plus the way he rages and screams scares me. I put something in front of our bedroom door tonight.
I can pray tomorrow will be better.

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I hope everyone has a great Monday.
Christine

It is unbelievable what hospitals get away wit charging insurance companies. I got a copy of my bill from my ER visit. First the ONLY thing I was giving from the pharmacy was 1 Norco for pain after I fell. Do you know they are charging $988.98! Wow!!! Shoot I get these every month can I go to the hospital pharmacy and sell my Norco back to them at $988.00 a pill?? That leaves them .98 cents left because that's about what it costs! You know I blame every insurance company that excepts these bills and pays them. They are all part of the problem!!!

Next was my lab work. They drew two small viles of blood. I think my blood must be special and need special handling which can only be done at the North Pole. Which they use Air Force One to get it their! Otherwise there would be no explanation as to why they are charging $5,399.95!!

Now lets talk about the 1 chest x-ray they gave me and of course someone had to read that x-ray. I tell you I want to become a radiologist because they must be higher paid then doctors. See that's the only thing I can think of as to why they would charge $2,950.96 for 1 x-ray!

Lastly my so called emergency room. Well if you can call where they put me a room. I was on a gurney with a mattress that I am pretty sure was filled with cotton balls. It was the most uncomfortable lumpy saddest excuse for a mattress. It must have been an original purchase from when the hospital opened back in the day. Maybe if they were not buying 1 Norco for hundreds of dollars each....ya right! Then maybe they could make some improvements to their lovely accommodations! After all they charged me $3,878.00! I was there for 12 hours but actually back in the ER on that lovely gurney for about 7 hours. Wow that's $554.00 an hour! Wait shouldn't they be paying me that? I never ever saw a doctor. At least they didn't try to bill me for that!

It is really disgusting at the cost that hospitals charge for everything. This is the reason why we all pay so much to carry health insurance. My gosh if a person who is uninsured got this bill I can honestly say as outraged as I am I wouldn't blame them if they didn't pay it.

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I hope everyone has a great Thursday!
Christine

A day that started out with news I didn't want to hear but ended up being a day where I was able to pay it forward. I went to my cardiologist and we are going to do another echocardiogram and if this one comes back with an ejection fraction of 35% or lower (four months ago it was 20%) I am going to have to have a defibrillator put in and then start the process of a transplant. My doctor told me they like for people to keep their own hearts as long as possible. I said yes so would I but I don't want to wait until I start to see the light! Lol. So I will wait to see what the test shows. I always try to be positive but u am also realistic. Hey I have been blessed to have gone 21 years with this heart condition while a lot have to have transplants within 5-6 years.

After my doctors appointment I stopped by the Dollar store to get a word search. It was pouring rain. Outside the store was an obvious homeless man. As I got close to the entrance he asked me if I could possibly buy him some top ramen or soup. I said sure. I got my books and went to look in the refrigerated section. They had nothing that didn't need heating up. So I bought him some milk, cereal , peanut butter, jelly, bread and cereal bars. I bought him a cloth bag to keep it in. When I gave it to him he was so excited. He was so happy and thankful for the food. He told me it would feed him for days. I had a blanket in my car and gave that to him too because he told me he almost froze last night. He had a shopping cart with his stuff in it and a small bike. One tire was flat. I asked about his tire. He said he tired to fill it with glue but it didn't work. I asked him what size was the tire. He told me. I told him I would go get my husband and we would get him his bike tire tube and put it on for him. I told him it would be awhile because I lived across town. I got in my car a drove off. As soon as I was out of sight I stopped and broke down crying. I just couldn't get the image of how happy he was for getting those few groceries and a blanket. He was about 32. All I could think of was this was someone's son and I wondered where all his family was. No one in this country should be living on the streets or be hungry EVER! When my husband and I went back he said "I didn't think you would really come back"! While my husband changed his bike tire everyone that passed by stared. I wondered if they were staring at us changing the tire for him or staring at him? Either way it's wrong! His name is Ryan. He tells my husband thanks for fixing my tire. I can try to pay you back. My husband says no it's our gift to you. Ryan then says "or if you have someone that's bothering you I can stop it"! My husband said no its ok! Lol then we finished and left. It felt good to help Ryan out. Hey now I can say I kinda sorta might have met a former "problem fixer" if you know what I mean!!! Hey for all I know he could have been a "problem fixer" in his mind...oh sweet Ryan! Lol

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I hope everyone has a blessed day!
Thanks
Christine

I have noticed lately that my knees are becoming very weak.my legs are still strong but can't walk if my knees suddenly become jello-like! No pain. Has anyone else experienced this?

As some of you may know. My husband and I moved about 16 months ago into a bigger home. We had to get a 4 bedroom. Boy it cost us not my mom a lot of money! 6 months later my mom and I got into an argument and she moved out.
Things were kinda tight but we managed. That was until my husband was injured at is work and then because he was injured they fired him.
So things got a little scarier and stressful! My mom told us she would move back in anytime if we needed her financially.

We have cut out almost everything we could. No more TV, no more home phone. Sold anything of value on EBay , had a garage sale and sold my teacups and teapots for fraction of what they were worth. All we have left of value is my wedding ring. We never thought Doug's former employer In-N-Out Burger which claims to be a Christian company would go to the lengths they have and are to try to destroy our lives. He did nothing wrong but be exposed to dangerous toxic chemicals which they didn't provide the proper adequate respirator.

So I finally called my mother to ask her to move back in. I explained everything to her. She said she would think about it and call me back. She called me back and said no because she was paying my niece to clean her own mothers house. Which is where my mother lived. I said ok. I got off the phone and broke down. It's like I just felt like that was the last straw. I couldn't take anymore. I thought damn I wish I had Dorothy's ruby slippers......cause I want to tap three time and just go somewhere else....even for just awhile!!! Shoot if Calgoon worked I would taken a darn bubble bath!

Two days later my mom calls my husbands cell and asks us to meet her for lunch. She said we need to talk about problems we had before. So we go pick her up and are at the restaurant. She pulls out a sheet of binder paper 3/4 full of issues I guess she, and my two sisters Kim and Cathy thought of. She reads the first one to herself then folds the paper up. She says "Cathy told me that when I lived with you before you called her everyday and said bad things about me"! I said ok first of all that's a lie. Cathy and I are estranged and will never have a relation again. This is her way of trying to cause trouble again! Then my husband says "Jean we are not going to go through that list and rehash old problems". "Let's move on". I said mom look sometimes your a pain in the butt and sometimes I am a pain in the butt. If we argue which we will sometimes then we will separate for awhile then we will be fine. So she's moving in on March 1st.
Still doesn't help with bill for this month. So I will most likely have to sell my wedding ring. It's upsetting but I try to think of it as its just an object and it doesn't stand for our love it just a ring. It just that its just so pretty. Oh well I still will have my real pearl necklace. Too bad that wouldn't get me enough money so I could keep my ring! Tough times will pass!!! Man I can't wait until the do!!! Thank goodness my moms moving back in because I don't think there is a high demand for fat hookers!!! LOL

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I hope you have a great day!
Christine

I must apologize in advance to my fellow male MS'ers unless you act this way when your sick. If you quickly said no you probably do!! Lol

Ok my husband whom I love he is my buddy and my best friend.....but dang it he is the biggest baby when he is sick or has the tiniest bit of pain! He has gout and I know that hurts. It's just hard for me to sympathize because drinking beer is a major cause of flair ups. So it's kind of self inflicted. So two nights ago he slept with his arm sticking straight out for awhile. It hurt when he work up. I rubbed it with medicine. Do you that two days later it is still causing him excruciating amounts of pain!!
He was going to cook dinner but couldn't. So I did. He went out into his garage (man cave). Then went back out their after dinner! After dishes were done he came back in. I let him have it! I said wow your elbow must have be feeling so much better because you have been out playing your game before dinner and after dinner. Quite a recovery I would say!
Then of course as a man he does what he is best at in situations like this.....he starts to deflecting!!! He deflects and deflects and deflects all the way to "do you want me to leave"! I laughed! Men what are we gonna do with them!!! They are big baby's!!!

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I hope everyone has a great Saturday!
Take care
Christine

I don't understand why.......
1. I get catalogs and coupons from Victoria Secret! My big ass can't fit in anything in their store... Not even a bra because they stop at a size 38! So stop sending me coupons for free underwear until you sell big mamma draws!
2. Why does it seem like I can months without peeing my bed then wash my damn sheets and will pee the bed that night!!!!

3. Not to be gross but why do farts smell worse when you fart in the shower?

4. No offense to my fellow male MS'ers but what has happened to young men and men having manners? I mean holding the door open for a lady who's walking up behind you at a store or even pick up something someone has dropped. I went to a Rite-Aid tonight. I was standing in line. I was next in line. A few people were in line behind me. Another cashier opened up and said "I can help the next person in line". I moved about half an inch and this 30-something year old man jumped and already had his ice cream on the counter. I said "are you serious"! Then this guy says "oh go ahead" like he was doing me a favor! All I thought was if I was skinny this would never have
happened! And anyone who says that's not true is probably skinny! LOL

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I hope everyone has a wonderful Friday!
Thanks
Christine