Self catheterization....how will I be able to do this? This is a huge fear of mine. I have a fat stomach! Just how am I going to be able to maneuver around my fat stomach with my T-Rex arms? Seriously that is a small hole to try and get a a tiny tube into it! There is no way in the world I will ever be able to do this myself. I can see how it is easier for a man with a big belly then for a woman with a big belly. Since that is a medically necessary function...being able to urinate. I wonder if Medicare will give me a tummy tuck and liposuction? If a woman doesn't have a flat stomach just how are you able to self catheterize?

You may laugh but I asked my urologist if they put a shunt type device in for a woman. I thought they had something like that. I was wrong! I just thought then a woman would just have to feel for the hole in this shunt and insert the catheter into that. It makes sense to me but I guess they do not make anything like this. So that means my big ass will never be able to self catheterize!

So when my bladder gets worse I guess my choice will be either a urine bag attached to me or my husband will have to catheterize me a couple times a day! Oh joyful!! Both choices are crappy. Since our bladders a weak I wonder if we could get a bladder transplant? How great that would be for all of us! Our immune systems would eventually mess that bladder up too. It would be great to have a controllable bladder for awhile! I wonder if they can transplant a bladder? I am gonna look into that! Yes!!! I looked on google and there is information on bladder transplants! They have even grown new bladders for people from a piece of their own bladder. That would mean no chance of rejection! I am going to have to look deeper into this!!

Update on Jordan. He has been home for a few days. I talked on the phone with him today. He is doing better. I told him if he ever wanted or needed to talk I was hear for him. I told him I didn't care what time it was either. I encouraged him to be honest with his bother about what his sister-in-law has been doing and saying to him. I told him he should be honest and tell his brother how he feels unwanted in his home. He is still on crutches. Hopefully he will be healed from his surgery soon. I want to help him find a job. That's not easy in my town as we have 18.99% unemployment! At least that's what was reported 6 months ago. It may be higher or lower. I just want to help him feel lived and to have a positive person in his life.

I hope everyone has a fantastic week. Thank you again for reading my blog!
Thanks
Christine

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Saturday night.....party time! Ya right we took our winter comforter to laundry mat. Oh the married life!! We were sitting in the car watching people. I must say some shady looking people are at the laundry mat at 9:30 on a Saturday night! I hate using some washer that lots of people use but our comforter is too large and thick for our washer. I made sure I used HOT water too!
Good grief!!! It's a lot of work trying to change the dust ruffle then the rest of the bed. I was so out of breath trying to slide that darn thing under the mattress. We have a temper-pedic mattress. That thing is so heavy! I was sweating!!

My frozen shoulder has been killing me. When it gets bad it makes my hand go numb. I shampooed our carpet yesterday. I did the living room and the family/dining room. I hate our lite carpet. I keep our house pretty clean. Even though my husband claims I am a surface cleaner. It's easy for him to talk smack about something he never does! Ya he has been off work for 2 1/2 weeks and he has do the dishes 1 time!! Plus while he was doing it he was complaining that the fridge needs cleaning. I told him to jump right on that as I rolled my eyes! I wanted to tell him "hey before we jump on my cleaning or lack there of how about you first master making it in toilet at night"! When your husband or boyfriend actually clean something do they want praise for it? Omg.....Doug will ask me several times "if he did good"! Oh please!!! Good thing I am not that way. Lol
I would constantly be asking him that....."DID I DO GOOD" .....on the laundry, on cleaning the bathrooms, doing the dishes, cooking dinner oh and getting groceries! Lol

I hope everyone has a fantastic Sunday. Thanks for reading my story.
Ohh DONT forget Real Housewives of Atlanta starts season 5 tonight! I heard its the last season for my girl NeNe! :-(

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Medicare!! Questions....questions and more questions!!! It is open enrollment time. I received a thick booklet type thing in the mail. I am fairly intelligent but reading this really confused me. I found inside my book a toll free number to get help. It's on the back cover. HICAP which stands for Health Insurance Counseling & Advocacy Program. This is a free service.

I had my appointment today. They tell you to bring a list of your prescriptions. She goes over all the plans available in your area. They have simple spreadsheets to follow. It breaks down everything from plan cost, hospital stay costs to co-pays for your Dr. and prescriptions. They will put all your current medications into their computer. Then their system tells you which plan will benefit you the most. They tell you which of your prescriptions will be covered. Thy even tell you what month you will go into your donut hole.

It took about an hour but I was very pleased with the services. It really made this choice so easy. It was a little scary to me before. I thought I was going to get crappy coverage and end up paying a lot for it. In the end I do not pay anything extra for my plan. Other then the standard $99.90 to Medicare. All my prescriptions are either free or $5.00 except for two that were not covered by any company. One I knew would not be covered was my Copaxone. The second one surprised me. They do not cover my potassium pills. I have to take these with my water pills I take for my heart. Shockingly they cost $46.00 for a 30 day supply. It's a potassium pill for heaven sake!

I thought all of you should look at the booklet Medicare mailed you. Call the
number on the back for your area. You will be surprised how helpful this free service is. Plus you may find another plan will work better for you and save you money too! I thought it was GREAT!!! I highly recommend you all do this free helpful program.

I hope this information is helpful. Thank you for reading my blog. It means a lot to me. I hope everyone has a blessed day.

Thanks
Christine

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Frozen shoulder....a stiffness that's not welcomed! I have had this for a few years. It's very painful. It seems the more I use that arm the more pain I get. It also makes my arm and hand go numb too. Sometimes I go to move my arm and I will get a sudden stabbing pain in the shoulder joint. Then it will make this popping noise and its like my shoulder just cracked some knuckles. Except when I have cracked my knuckles it doesn't hurt. When my shoulder pops it is painful!

When I was diagnosed my doctor wanted me to go to physical therapy. I was excited. In my mind I thought I was going to get massaged and ice packs. Oh no that is not what I got! I got this lady who was clearly into inflicting pain on people. She had me raise arm up over my head while lying down on the exam table. Let me paint this picture for you. My big ass self was forced to lay down on this tiny exam table. It wasn't a soft comfy type either. It was the small kind that have stir-ups that pop up on the side. It didn't have these....at least not that I saw!! It was hot in the room too. I was of course sweating too. Then this obviously sadistic woman started pushing her body weight into my arm. I thought she was trying to pop my arm off! I am pretty sure it would have been less pain!! I don't know if you can relate to this. When a heavy person is laying down on an exam table but its not easy to get up gracefully. It's something that you through up one leg in order to help lift your big ass up off the table! Sometimes it's a more then one time you have to through up that leg to get enough of a push to again sit up again!! Do you know what I mean? Then she made me do these stupid exercises against the wall with a curtain rod. Can someone tell me how inflicting pain will make my frozen shoulder better?

I don't have a medical degree or anything but I think a deep tissue massage and some heat or ice would be better treatment. I actually had to pay a co-pay for this sadistic treatment! Needless to say I never went back.

I had a cortisone shot 6 months ago. It didn't hurt at all. My doctor sprayed this cold numbing spray on the injection site. It was instant pain relief. It was great. It seemed like it was never there. It was short lived about 2-3 weeks. It was fantastic to have absolutely no shoulder pain even if for a short time. Doctor said I could only get a shot every 6 months otherwise it may damage tissue. So I recommend the cortisone shots. It didn't hurt me at all. Even if it had hurt it would have been worth it to be pain free for awhile.

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Christine

Do your feet burn? Is it constant or does it come and go? I get it but it isn't all the time. It usually happens in the eving time. Sometimes it hurts worse then other times. I swear it gets worse as soon as I get in bed. It feels like my feet are walking across hot pavement. I have found putting my feet in cold water helps. The colder the better. It's shocking to my feet and nerves at first. After a few minutes its like it has numbed the nerves.

It's strange how my feet can burn yet they are cool to the touch. The middle of my back does the opposite. It is hot to the touch yet I don't feel anything. I would like to know how my nerves can feel hot and my right hand gets numb and feels ice cold. To someone that doesn't have the cold feeling it hurts bad too. I will wrap my arm in a blanket or wear socks on my hands to keep them warmer. Man MS likes to play games.... I get hot all the time. I sweat like a frickin pig! I have fans everywhere in my house running year round. My feet burn and my one arm gets icy cold! As if that wasn't enough I am pre-menopausal, anemic, overweight and a heart condition! I am jacked up from the floor up! Even with all that going on I stay positive. I try to not get upset over new symptoms or flair ups. I try to laugh it away. Laughter is a great way to release tension.

I hope everyone has a great day. I hope everyone has a safe Halloween. My picture for today is a picture of my son as a mummy.

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Christine

Wow being a parent is tuff! I have never said I was a perfect mother. I have sure made my share of parental mistakes. I have never used guilt to manipulate my son. My mother did that enough to me and my siblings. She still does it. But that's one of the reasons she is no longer in my life. Toxic!

My step son has been very mouthy to both his father and myself. Tonight we had had enough and took his cell phone away. Boy oh boy!!! You would think we killed him by taking the phone away from him. Sadly he is angry at his mother and her boyfriend and its his father and I are getting it taken out on us. We know he is hurting inside and have given him some leeway. His mother has not called him at all. A few days it will be a month. I just don't understand her.

Kids today just expect everything. Cell phones, cars, computers and gaming systems. If they don't get it or you take it away. They act like its child abuse. My husband and I never had these things as we were growing up and we lived! We never had tv's in our rooms either! Shoot I didn't have a TV anywhere in my house but the living room until I got married the second time. I was 35 years old!! That's because my husband has to have the TV on to fall asleep! I am the opposite! I like quite! Lol

I have nothing new to report about Jordan. He is at the hospital on a 72 hour hold. I hope he is doing well. I hope I can see him in a few days. I take attempts of suicide very seriously. My son at 16 years old attempted by overdosing on his ADHD medicine. One of his friends had just died from an overdose. It was the scariest day of my life. It was March 27, 2008. I will never forget that day! Kids can be a pain in the butt at times but I wouldn't trade being a mom for nothing! Ok there may be an amount of cash.....lol

Have a wonderful day. Hug your kids and make sure you always tell them how much you love them.

Thanks for reading my blog.
Christine

Are you sad? Is someone you know sad or depressed? Would you reach out for help? Would you know the signs if someone was depressed and thinking of harming themselves? Tonight our next door neighbors brother, my sons friend was thinking of killing himself. He is only 19 years old. He moved her 6 months ago from Texas. He is a nice, kind typical lazy teenager. From the first day his brothers wife has made it clear to him that she doesn't want him in her house. She loves to make him feel unwanted. He doesn't complain to his brother or tell him the mean things she says and does to him. He doesn't want to cause problems for them. He just takes her abuse and tries to do everything to try and get her to be nice and like him.

He just turned 19 last week. He had knee surgery a few days ago. He is on crutches and has been in a lot of pain. My son was over visiting him and his sister in law actually was yelling at him saying he was lazy and useless. Unbelievable!!!! She is actually a cardiac nurse at a hospital here. I have met her very cold and seems to care about no one but herself and her dogs.

Jordan was over at our house earlier watching the World Series. We were about to eat and I said he could come back over. I can't stop thinking he was trying to send me signals he needed help. He told me he hasn't been sleeping very well. He mentioned he told his brother last night he loved him for the first time. When he got up to leave he seemed ok. It breaks my heart that I didn't catch the signals he was sending out.

He wanted to go back to Texas a few months ago. He was tired of being unwanted there. His mother said he couldn't come back to her home. It just kills me how he must have felt tonight like no one wants him around. This kid doesn't break any laws, rob or steal. He is a good kid. He just needs some positive loving influence. All he gets is negative!!
When the police knocked on our door tonight and we learned Jordan called the police and was saying he was going to kill himself. His brother was gone. They went out to dinner. He is never invited nor do they bring him anything back. Who does that? Like I said she is a cardiac nurse and he is a firefighter. I haven't seen or heard anything bad said about Jordan. If someone is constantly mentally beating you down how do you not fall into a serious depression? No one wants to be a positive influence and motivate this young man. I just know things are going to get worse for him. This will be what his sister in law needed to kick him out. She is newly pregnant and I can see her telling her husband she doesn't want him around their baby. I am going to talk to my husband. We need to show him love and positive reinforcement. I have an extra bedroom which is my office. He can stay here maybe. I was crying and very upset because I felt he was trying to tell me but I didn't catch it. He needs to know his life is worth living and has meaning!!! Sometimes people can't get this from their families but from friends.

Pray for Jordan! He went to the hospital to get some help.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Monday. If you feel someone is sad and depressed listen closely to what they may be trying to tell you.

Thanks for reading my blog it means a lot to me.
Christine ��

It's Halloween time....do kids still trick or treat in your area? It seems like every year less and less come around. I gotta be honest. Some people are strange! People don't really get to know their neighbors anymore. Plus a lot or churches and communities do the "trunk or treat". I am so glad my son stopped wanting to trick or treat when he was 10. I bought him the cutest rooster costume from Costco. It was furry and so adorable. I can still remember us leaving our apartment. He was 9 and it was just he and I. He was wearing his costume. He loved it too. Then some thuggish kids made fun of him as we left to go trick or treating. I remember it seemed like he went from an excited kid to almost ashamed in a split second. It ruined his night and he never went trick or treating again! Kids can be so hurtful to others. I am sorry he was adorable and wore it several times in the house before Halloween.

I think my favorite costume was when he was Robin from Batman and Robin. In the pictures he looks so happy! He was a mummy once. I bought muslin fabric and tore strips and wrapped it around him. I loved those times. The times when he still loved to cuddle up to me to watch TV and would fall asleep. Sometimes he would just come up to me and ask me "mom hold me like a baby"! Ohh how they change when they become teenagers and know everything!

He will be 21 this January. He is just starting to slightly get out of that "I know everything" stage. Just slightly! Lol when I hear him laugh I swear its identical to mine. It makes me laugh more! He has my sense of humor thank heavens.

I hope everyone has a great day!

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Thanks for reading!!!
Christine

Cold season is upon us!! It has hit me like a ton of bricks! I want to get my darn flu shot before my insurance ends at the end of the month. I am up all night coughing and keeping my husband awake. Although he wouldn't get out of bed to go get me a cough drop.... So he deserved to lay awake listening to me cough! Then after you have been coughing for awhile your ribs and head start to hurt. Nose is running, chest congestion and achy all over! This sucks!!!

You know as bad as I feel I am grateful I got the cold instead if my husband. First because his lungs are already screwed up thanks to his old employer IN-N-OUT BURGER! Oh how they will financially pay!! But my second reason is because my husband like many other men....are frickin babies! I feel horrible and have been in bed for most of the day. If it were my husband and had the exact symptoms. He wouldn't be able to walk to get something to drink. He would constantly be sighing and moaning. He would be asking me to do everything for him .....because he would be near death! He may even ask me to help him up off the couch or bed! I am sure he would be slipping in and out of a coma too! I love him dearly but dang he is a frickin baby when he is sick or has any pain.

Funny because if you say my husband he looks like a ruff & tuff mean biker dude! I know he may look tuff and mean but he can be just a teddy bear at times. But GOD please give me the strength to not choke him out when he is sick!

Omg!!! As I said I have been in bed most if the day. My husband just came into our room and actually said....." What's wrong you have been in here all day"! He then says "I am out there cooking dinner". I said I am sick and you should be cooking dinner! He says "oh really"! Lord give me strength!!!! He will expect praise over and over....oh lord! Lol

I am excited to say that I have my 11th Twitter follower!!!!! Yippie!! Now I am looking for my 12th!
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I hope everyone has a blessed weekend! Don't forget to laugh!
Thanks
Christine ��