Are you sensitive to smells? I have become lately. Today I had to venture out to the Social Security office. That was quite interesting. I seemed to have developed a sensitivity to odors. I am not sure if this is a symptom of my MS or not. It was pretty crowded. We had number 180 and they were on 147. We ended up sitting behind a man that was omitting quite an odor. He was "odorriffic" and thats not a good thing! the smell was a cross between mold and musty dirty clothes. It was terrible! Then to make things worse he started to fan himself! I was about to scream! His number was finally called! An older lady sat down. I was never so grateful that she was a smoker. She was like an ashtray. Unbelievably she was a breath of fresh air! She only sat for a few minutes. Then these two young ladies with two small kids. To my horror one of the little girls diapers had overflowed. Her pants were half urine soaked. At least I hope it was urine. I couldn't believe the mother was just letting her walk around and sit in chairs. It suddenly crossed my mind that the chair I was sitting in could have had a kid in it with a dirty diaper! I swear I was going to throw up at the possibility.

Do any of you feel you are becoming sensitive to odors? I am also very sensitive to noises. Let me know if any of you are having this issue too.

What are some of the things you feel are missing from an MS site? What sort of ideas do you feel would help others that you feel is missing. I want to start a non-profit MS website. Please let me know what your thoughts and ideas are.

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Thanks
For reading my blog. It means the world to me to tell my struggles with MS and life and help others. Have a wonderful day.
Christine

One thing I have found that helps me with my daily struggles is my dog. When I am down and feeling bad, he is right there by my side. His unconditional love makes me always feel better. Everywhere I go he follows. I wonder if he follows to make sure I am ok or if he just wants to make sure he doesn't miss out on a snack. I am very lonely because I have my Jakie boy!

I grew up a cat person and never owned a dog before. I was one of those people that didn't like dogs because they were slobbery and smelled. My son wanted a dog and so we found Jake and adopted him. A few months later I got sick and he never left my side. That's when I fell in love with my dog....he is my son!

Yes I am one of those crazy dog people. I see a dog on TV or a picture on Facebook and I am ohhing and ahhing! I feel guilty I can't walk my dog so I compensate with toys. He has a toy box with seriously about 60 toys in it. It's sad but if I do have to go out and he can't go I always bring him back a squeaky toy. It has gotten so bad that he expects it and waits by the door. Lol

He loves people but HATES all other dogs! If he is in the car and he sees a dog being walked or in another car. He comes unglued! He starts barking and whining horribly! It's my fault because I had never had a dog before. I socialized him around people but I forgot about other dogs. He suffers from a serious case of LDS! Little Dog Syndrome! He is short but thinks he is as big as a Great Dane! I love my baby and wouldn't trade him for anything! Pets bring so much love into our lives! Love them as if it were your own child.

Have a fantastic day! My GOD bless you and your families.

Friend me on Facebook at:
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Thank you,
Christine

I am disgusted! I have read too many stories and postings from people who have MS and their spouse or girlfriend/boyfriend walked out and left them. I just can't understand how another human being could be so cold. It's more disheartening to me for a spouse to do this. I can not understand how someone could walk away from their wife or husband simply because they were diagnosed with MS. I have personally spoken to a few fellow MS friends. One man was married for 23 years. He had just been diagnosed within the past year. He hadn't been hit too hard from MS yet and was still working and caring for himself with little help from his wife. One day he went out with friends. He came home and his wife of 23 years was gone and left him a note. YES just a note! She said she was gone and never coming back. She even told him that their grown kids didn't know where she was either. This broke my heart. I just couldn't believe that someone you love and have spent 23 years of your life with could be so cold, hateful and the lowest form of a human being. When did someone's health become a reason to love or not love?

What happened to the vows we take when we marry? I know mine said....to love honor and cherish through sickness and health! How can someone stop loving and caring for their spouse because they are sick? In my opinion anyone that walks away from their spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend because they got sick is a selfish disgusting piece of crap! What makes some people think this is expectable? I cant imagine that that their friends actually agree with them or would even stand by them. This is morally one of the worst things a person could do to their spouse!

Sadly this is not the only time I have heard this from a fellow MS friend. I was raised with morals, values and compassion. My first marriage was a disaster but if he had gotten sick I would have stayed. Granted I would have to keep my sister away from him....since she had sex with him!!! Plus I am not sure he would have still had have his "manhood"! That's the price he would have to pay! Lol man my standards were low back then!

So what are your thoughts on this topic? Has this happened to you or someone you know? I want to hear about it. I want to start a nonprofit for people with MS. When my husband gets all the $$ from his former employer for distorting his lungs! There are several things I want to do. One of them is having a section of the website for single people with MS or any other disability to find friends in your area and maybe love! I haven't come up with a name for my website/nonprofit for MS. I think all all these ideas when I am trying to sleep! Or I guess as I toss and turn!
Lol

I had a better day today. I hope you all have a wonderful blessed day. Thank you for reading my blog and my life stories.
Thanks
Christine

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Wow! I learned that telling my family how I felt was a huge mistake. Today because I was not going to do the laundry of my step sons or anyone's except for mine. My husband of over 8 years came at me in my face yelling at me saying "I was crazy" and what's wrong with me. I would have never ever thought that he would accuse me of that because I was no longer going to be disrespected and just everyones maid! I don't think he even know just how much he hurt me. I love him so much he is my best friend and soul mate. My heart hurts! So I learned to just keep it all to myself. I will not be made to think I am crazy because I won't cook, clean and do the laundry!

Then to top off this wonderful day! One of the sisters I do not speak texts my brother saying my mother came to my house today to get her Christmas decorations and I didn't open the door. My entire family has been home and no one came to our house today. She is still causing drama even though I cut her out of my life for that reason.

I sure hope I have a better day tomorrow!

Have a wonderful Tuesday!
Thanks
Christine

Do you every have days when you feel like you just can't take it anymore? Weather it is from your illness or just your life in general. Yesterday was one of those days for me. It was not my depression it was that I had had enough of bullshit in my life. My husband drinks everyday, my step son was emotionally and physically abused from his mother and her boyfriend. Unfortunately I take the brunt of all his anger towards his mother. He called and spoke to her on Thursday. She spoke to him for 5 minutes! She had not spoken to him in 32 days. I know he can not say anything to her ever! Over all the years of abuses he learned to never speak about what was going on in his mothers house. I know he loves me but I just am too sick and will not take his anger.

I was in bed for an entire day. I was so upset and had had it that I was ready to leave and disappear. I feel like all I am is a cook, maid and the person who gets everyone's frustration. If I had a place to go I would have left yesterday. That is how much I am sick of it all. So after having a full day to gather my thoughts I had a family meeting with everyone. I told my step son I know he has pain from all the issues he incurred from his mother and her boyfriend. I told him I will no longer tolerate him being disrespectful, rude and hateful to me. I said your old enough to say you want to go to go to speak to a therapist. Do not take your issues out on me. I told him I am not his mother and his father is not your mothers boyfriend so don't take it out on us. My husband I told him to get his crap together. I told him he is 44 years old and he better stop using this that or the other as excuses to drink. I told the both of them if they didn't change then I was leaving. I said I am sick and what time I have left on this earth will NOT be spent in hostility, anger and drama. I said if they don't change one day I will be just be gone. I said you will never see me again or hear from me.

I personally would rather be alone then to live like this. Life is short and shorter for those of us who are sick. I love them both but I will put myself and my sanity first. So we will see what happens. Ohh my husband did try to be a bit of a smart ass and ask me....if your asking us to change then what are you going to change. I immediately said.... Oh ok you want to know what I am changing! It's that I am on strike! I will no longer cook, clean, do all of your laundry! I said I was going to be Doug for awhile! That's what I am changing! I got up to eat dinner and I saw my step son had put all his laundry in the hall. He tells me oh I put my laundry in the hall for you. I said that's nice but I am on strike and I am not doing it! The kitchen is a mess too. I am not doing it! I am tired of only being good for cooking, cleaning, laundry or to be rude to! I will only be washing my own clothes from now on. I just asked him if he was going to do dishes before we went to bed. He got up pissed and is slamming dishes and cabinets! Poor baby! Get used of it!

Well I hope everyone had a better weekend then me. Although it feel great to finally stand up for myself! I wish you could see him doing the dishes in anger! It's funny!

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Have a good day everyone and remember that you have to lay down to let someone walk on you. Stand up and stop it from happening! I did and it feel great!!!!!
Thanks
Christine

When I was first diagnosed with MS. I was having attacks all the time. I would just get over an attack then boom another one. I was having steroid treatments so often that the nurses knew me by name. It was very hard. On top of what was happening with my body and the MS. The steroids were I felt like "killing me". They are great and I am grateful to be able to receive them but they wipe out my body.

Steroids make me feel as if everything inside my body as died. I feel like my spirit and feelings are gone. Everything tastes like metal to me. I feel as if I was in a major accident. I get hot flashes and I feel like nothing makes me feel better. It takes me 3-4 weeks to feel normal again. Each time I have had steroids I swear I will never don't it again. But I do! They work but I feel I pay the price for them.

I was told by my neurologist that the first 5 years of MS are a prediction of what the next 5 years will be. That terrified me because I was under constant MS attack in the first few years. Things got so bad that my husband and I moved back to Modesto to be around my family for help. I didn't work then either. I had to quit because I was in bad shape due to the MS.

I don't know what happened when we moved but we have been back for 4 years now. I have not had any of the attacks I used to have. I have the day to day struggles like fatigue, migraines, Incontinence, muscle spasms, burning feet and all that crap! I have been blessed or lucky that I haven't gone blind again in both eyes, been paralyzed in my legs or lost the use of my hands. I wonder sometimes if it isn't something environmental. Nothing changed in my life when we moved. Just moved 45 miles. Strangely the water here is very chlorinated tasting. Where we lived before for 3 years was not. They had great tasting tap water. I have lived in Modesto all of my life except for a year in Florida and the 3 years in Lodi. I am not complaining by any means. I would just like to understand why MS attacks everyone differently and at different rates. What has or is going on in some people's lives that their MS comes on rapid and hard? Then others like me seem to go into a remission from major attacks? There has to be something in common with all of us? If MS is something that we may be born with then what triggers it to come out suddenly? Something we all have done or maybe been exposed to has to all be common. That's my thought on it!

I was completely normal then we went to an amusement park. I remember my head being whipped around. After that ride I suddenly felt as if a full blown cold had hit me. I was freezing, achy and coughing. The next day it was as if one side of my temples were in a vice. Everyday for 6 days I was either at the hospital, urgent care or my doctors office. No pain medication would stop the pain in my temples. Then the other side started to also have this horrible pain. A few days later the pain was all gone but I was completely blind in both eyes. It wasn't black for me. It was as if everything had turned white. Like I was in a very thick fog that I couldn't see through. The pain stopped when I lost my eyesight. I had optic neuritis. I was told it was unusual for it to happen in both eyes at once. LOL that's the story of my life! It took me 5 months to see again. Then after a spinal tap and an MRI with contrast I was diagnosed with MS.
So that's how my MS life started. It's been a bumpy road at times but I never gave up! I am a fighter and I refuse to let MS win! Everyday I deal with what symptoms I have and move on. I try to forget I even have it. I have had a heart condition for almost 21 years. Most people have to have s transplant within 5 years and some don't make it. That's how I have dealt with my heart condition. I take my medicines and I forget about! then I just live my life. I roll with the punches and try to find solutions to them. I laugh at myself and my struggles too! Laughter is the best medicine!

Have a wonderful day!
Thanks
Christine

Friend me on Facebook at:
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On Twitter:
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I was watching The Steve Harvey Show. They were talking about Internet dating. They said 1 out of 10 profiles are fake. They talked to women who were scammed by men and taken for money. See this one would never have happened to me. I trust no man! It takes a lot for me go trust a man. I am this way partially because of past experiences and being fat. It's was hard being fat and believing anything a man was saying. I thought back then if they were saying sweet or nice things to me, then he wanted something. So if a man was asking me for money I would laugh! I was dating a guy once who was a truck driver. I know what your thinking! He was clean, good looking and had all this teeth! He asked me once if he could borrow $2,000.00 to pay truck tags. I laughed because I had maybe $20.00! To this day I don't now why he thought I would have had that kind of extra money.

A few years ago I was working at a bank. I worked in the loan department. One day one of the loan officers came up to me. She said she was at the VA hospital and the guy who helped her seemed perfect for me. She stated she didn't know much about him but that they had talked and she thought he would be perfect for me. She got his email address. I sent him an email. We talked on the phone a few days later. He seemed nice. He called me again the next day. That's when he informs me he has something to tell me but he is afraid I will hang up and never speak to him again. After a few minutes he finally tells me. It turns out he was a registered sex offender! I am serious! I was speechless! He then tells me he is better and his friends allow him to babysit! I told him to never call me again then hung up! I couldn't wait to get to work and tell her he was a sex offender! She was horrified! What made me the sickest was that his friends allowed him to babysit! What kind of a parent would allow a sex offender to babysit?

I dated my share of men I dated on the Internet. I found the men I met and dated were just looking for sex or were liars! So for me it didn't work out on the Internet. I know people who have. I just say be careful and listen to your instincts! They are never wrong. I always listen to my "spidee-sense"!

I am on Facebook:
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Twitter:
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Thanks and I hope you have a great day!
Thanks
Christine

Do you ever look at someone and make a snap judgement? We all have done this. People make snap judgements all the time. We know we should not do this yet some people continue to do this. It has happened to all of us too. I bring this up because sometimes people we know and love have judged us. MS is frankly a bitch of a disease. We can look healthy and "normal" (what ever that is) on the outside but can be totally messed up on the inside.

Somedays I feel "normal". Those may be the days I try to do too much too. I know you have done this too. We end up paying the price for this. It causes us to be overexerted. For me it causes my fatigue to be even worse. A few months ago I over did it one day and I got so sick. I was sick for almost a week. Each day I was feeling more pain, stiffness and exhausted then the day before. Seriously I was so ill I thought I was dying. You may think I learned my lesson and that I do not overexert myself anymore. NO.... Because just like there is a thin person inside me wanting to come out. (I hate her! ) There is also that "normal" woman that doesn't have MS inside me.

We all want our friends, family and even strangers to see us as "normal" healthy people. Most of us look that way on the outside. That's why I say MS is a bitch! It not only messed up our insides but often keeps us healthy looking on the outside. Sometimes I have to remind my husband that I am sick and can not do everything I used to.

Since none of us like to be judged we should all try not to judge others as well. I know it's hard at times. Trust me I know it may surprise and shock some of you......but I can be quite a judgmental bitch! I know your shocked! Lol! I am going to make an effort to not make snap judgements. After all you can not judge a book by its cover. Please do not confuse being judgmental with intuition. If your walking towards someone and that inner voice is telling you something. You listen to that voice! Never underestimate the power of intuition! Now your intuition can be as judgmental as it wants!!!! That "spidee-sense" is usually not wrong! Lol

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More then 13 of you that read my blog and have a Twitter account. If you only knew how excited I get when I check my Twitter and I have another follower!
@mywonderMSlife

I hope everyone has a great day!
Thanks
Christine

Being happy doesn't mean everything is perfect. It means you have decided to look beyond the imperfections!

I was reading an article about Five Habits of Happiness. The author of the article states that these five habits of happiness which effects success outcomes and health. We are supposed to do the following five things each day.
1. Each day write three new things you are grateful for.
2. Take 2 minutes to write in a journal about a positive experience.
3. Set aside 15 minutes a day for fun, mindful activity such as a walk with a loved one.
4. Practice mediation for 2 minutes a day. Focus on breathing.
5. Write a 2 minute positive email praising or thanking someone in your social circle.

Ok really!!! So if I do these 5 things I will be more successful and be healthier? Come on! I am a very positive thinking person. I do not dwell on my illnesses, aches and pains or the drama that may be going on in my life. I don't think if I mediate for 2 minutes or send a positive email. I do not personally think these 5 things can change me. I think my own positive attitude is enough for me. So these 5 things may work for some people. For me I am not going to drink the cool-aid!

Some people need to hear from someone else that they need to do certain things then their life will be changed. I think they change their lives at that point because they truly believe that that what this person is saying will change them. They are really just thinking positively and that's what is changing in their lives. Either way both outcomes are the same. you are thinking positive and thats all that matters.

I have to laugh at the thought of myself mediating for a quick 2 minutes! It takes me longer then 2 minutes to gather my thoughts! Lol journal writing is great I just couldn't cut it to only 2 minutes. I try to write daily in my journal. I feel it is therapeutic for myself to write down my thoughts, complaints or concerns. I have to keep it in my safe. My husband would so read it! Seriously he would!! That's a can of worms I don't think should be opened up! LOL

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Thank you for reading my blog. It means a lot to me.
Thanks,
Christine

There are a lot of things that suck about MS. One of the hardest things to get used to is learning to pace myself. Even though I have had MS for 6 years. Pacing myself I still have problems doing. I get a burst of energy and will jump up and think I can clean everything that day. Then once I am done and barley able to walk I am regretting it. That night and the next day or two I am paying the price! Stiff muscles, pain everywhere, migraines and absolutely no energy. Each time I say I will never do that again...but I usually do.

Even though I have been heavy most of my life. I am not lazy. I like things neat and clean and in a certain order. A few days ago I started shampooing our carpets. I was only planning on doing half one day and the other the next. Plus I had done a little rearranging of some furniture too. The next day I was zapped of any energy. I just rested instead. I had planned on finishing the carpets yesterday. I was laying around and my husband asked me " honey where did all your get up and go go"? I said "I got up and left"!

So tonight we planned to finish cleaning. I finished shampooing the carpets and he said he would clean our bathroom. He was taking a long time. I went in to tell him I would do the tub and the counters for him. I said its hard cleaning isn't it. He tells me "well I clean a lot better then you"! I thought to myself....oh no he didn't! Then I told him I was going to help you but since your so much better at it then me you can do it yourself! Sure he cleaned it great but it took him 3 hours! It takes me about 45 minutes to clean. That's with a cool down break too! Men!!!! Boy sometimes you just want to smack them!

I hope you have a great day! Thank you for reading my blog!

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