As I told all of you I over did it last week. I alway try to be positive, at least when it comes to my health. If any of you ran into me somewhere your first impression might be "she's not sick". That of coarse if you over looked my chunky, (that's better than saying obese) damp and sweaty flushed face self! Ok back to the topic I can easily get off track! I unless am over tired walk normal. Well as drunkish normal someone with MS can walk. I don't have to use a cane I hold onto the shopping cart.
Since Wednesday it seems I have gone to the "dark side". I call it this because I hoped I would never actually go there. I am walking like...ok I am just gonna say it! MY MOTHER!
I grew up in a divorced disfuntional family. Before I go any further I have to say I love my mother. As a teenager I saw my father leave us. My mother was with him for 21 years. Needless to say she didn't handle it very well. I am not heartless I would expect it to be a difficult transition. My mother freaked out. My older sister Cathy stepped into our mothers place. I don't remember most of my childhood. I am not sure why I have subconsciously blocked it out. I do have a vivid memory of my mother throughing herself onto the ground. She I guess was having a nervous breakdown. She wouldn't move or get up. My sister called an ambulance. I was 14 when this happened. I remember thinking to my self that I would NEVER completely give myself to a man. I as my husband tells me from time to time "you are a man hater". I have to agree somewhat. I have never been in a relationship where I have to financially depend on a man. My cars were always in my name. I maintained my own checking acct. well at least until I married my soulmate Doug. I never wanted to be in the situation my mom was in. No real work history, no credit in her name and begging the man who cheated on her AGAIN to please stay. Even at 14 I knew she really didn't want him back but she knew she and her kids depended on my father financially. It broke my heart to see her on her knees begging him not to leave us. I know how hard that choice was for her to make. I know she wished she could have done her life differently. I as a woman know for 100% certainy that my mother wished she could have thrown him out on his butt. I think of the Nancy Sinatra song "these boots are made for walking". I think thats the name of the song.
As I grew up I always worked. Until I was diagnosed in 1992 with my heart condition. After four years I was able to then work again. Every job I have had to busted my butt and worked my way in higher positions. I have no college education but I was highly depended on and paid rather well in the banking/ mortgage industries.
My was married before briefly. I will say I believe when a marriage falls apart both are equal in the in the dissolution of the marriage. Well...I have to say my first marriage was about 75/25 in his favor. I was so bent on not allowing a man to have any hold or control over me. Sadly one night he was drunk again and was crying and told me "I am not gonna be your bitch anymore"! After our divorce years later I could still hear him say this to me. I realized that I was a control freak that was determined to not allow a man into my heart completely. If I ever ran into him, which he still lives in my town. I would sencerely apologize to him. I treated him as if he was "my bitch". If its any conciliation to him. I did learn to open up and allow a loving man into my heart. As I said lets not forget he did a lot of horrible things. He had an affair with a coworker and....he did have sex with my younger sister! Ya!!! For real!!!
So back to the topic. I love my mother but I do not want to ever act the way she did or does. As the week goes on I have been feeling and looking like someone who is disabled. Seriously tonight I told my son to keep checking on me. I feel that bad! He just came in to check on me. He said "how are you feeling Seabisquit". I said why do I have to be a horse? He said earlier when I woke up my hair was puffy and out of control. He told me it looked like a horses mane. It was a funny look. I even took a picture on my phone. I will make it my picture for todays blog. That way you can have a visual picture!
I do not like being sick. I hate having to sleep most of the day away. I feel like people may think I am just faking or blowing things out of proportion. (one guess where I got that from.....ya your right my mom. So if my husband or anyone else calls me by my mothers name or tells me I am acting like her....those are fighting words!!!! I joke with my husband and tell him......if you call me that name again or refer that I am acting like her.....it's your choice. One of us is going to the morgue and the other is going to jail! You decide!! Lol I am kidding! I don't promote violence. Just a funny story. So to sum up this whole story. I am walking and sighing like my mom! Ohh that leaves a bad taste in my mouth! Lol
Trivia:
Yesterday's answer is gum.
Today's trivia is: To break the sound barrier, you need to fly a)120.3 mph, b)760 mph, c)5100 mph?
Have a great day and remember to smile and laugh! That means you too Candace!!
I know it's just too darn sexy!! Lol
I have been taking Copaxone since my diagnoses in 2005. I was like a lot of people. I am afraid of needles. Ya I will admit that I have to turn my head when they give me a shot...oh and I certainly can't look when they draw blood. I honesty start to feel week if the try to pop in a third tube. I know it's just in my mind but you can convince my brain of that. I have actually had to be given orange juice and wait 15 minutes before I felt I could walk without falling!! Needless to say I was afraid to give myself a shot. Luckily I didn't have to. My husband and son did them for me.
That was short lived. I found myself missing doses. My husband was at work and my son was asleep. I will admit I did think about waking him up a few times to give me the shot. Ha Ha
I figured it was time to put my big girl pants on and learn to give myself the shot. I ordered the auto eject thing. I read those instructions over and over. After wasting 3 injections into the air. I finally said screw it! I uncapped the shot. Wiped it with an alcohol prep and pinched a roll of fat (that was easy to find) and did it! After I was done I thought that was easy! So since then I have been doing it myself. It is so easy! I am now kinda embarrassed I was such a baby at first. Yes...I still have to look away when they draw my blood...I am not super woman!! Ha Ha!
I had side effects of huge lumps that would take a few days to go away. They were red and really itchy. It got do bad that I stopped taking Copaxone altogether. Since I have a heart condition as well. This was the only preventive MS medicine I could take. After about a year I was having MS attacks. I decided to take it again. My doctor said for me to try taking a Benadryl at the time of my injection. I tried this as well. Then about a year after that my husband had a brilliant idea. He has those from time to time. He said lets take the little bit of air out of the needle before we give the injection. It was that easy. Since that day I have never had another red, itchy lump. Nor a lump of any kind. I don't know why Copaxone doesn't tell us to do this in order go prevent the painful lumps. I know it wasn't just happening to me either. I have read other people complain about the same thing. I only hope they followed my advice. If you use the auto eject well but the bullet and face your fears! You can do anything you really want to do.
Have you laughed today? I hope I made you at least chuckle!
Wednesday's trivia answer: advacados
Today's trivia: American kids spend $500 million on what each year, a)pizza, b)candy bars, c)gum
Do you feel that the way we allow others to treat us is an indication of how we feel about ourselves? For example if we allow our spouses/boyfriends or significant other to treat and speak to us like we are a piece of crap...do we then value ourselves as a piece of crap too?
I personally am usually deficient in vitamin D when ever the test me. The lowest I have been is 8. I have read a few articles on this today. In fact the latest issue of MS magazine has an article in it. They say that there is a link in vitamin D deficiency and MS. It got me to thinking. Am I deficient due to my MS or is it because I just can not be out in the sun anymore. I have to water my back yard after the sun goes down and I have to go shopping after the dark. That is a serious possibility of the link. The vast majority of people with MS try to stay out of the sun. This was the only side effect of MS that I was happy to get. I HATE THE HEAT! most of us keep our blinds closed so our houses stay cooler. My husband calls it "a vampire cave." we should all talk to our doctors. I am sure they would reccomend a vitamin D supplement. I also am anemic thanks to menstral issues being I am so close to menopause. Lucky me!!! Another reason to be hot! Last night I was still sick from over doing it. I was in bed with a cold wash rag over my eyes, no covers and a huge fan blowing directly at me. Ohh and I lowered the thermostat to 69 degrees. I was still hot, sweaty and uncomfortable. Man I can not wait for fall. Cooker temps but most of all no a/c bills. I have it set 72-74 degrees. My bill is usually 350.00 amonth in the summer. You all should have a discount on your electric bills and your gas bill. MS is a reason they give you a medical discount. It is easy you just call and they will mail you a form for your doctor to fill out. I always fill out everything except for the specific parts your doctor must complete. I email it to my doctor in an attachment. I ask them to fill out and then mail back to me. It is quicker this way. I always make a copy of the original before I mail off to the electric or gas company. Some cities have programs to get your home more energy efficient. The last place we lived benefited from that program. They blew a bunch of insulation up in the attic and replaced two doors. Check with your local companies to see if or what they may offer. It helped with our electric bills after we received the insulation.
Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh!
Yesterday's trivia answer: advacados
Today's trivia question: To break the sound barrier, you need to fly a)120.3 mph, b)760 mph, c)5100 mph
This is something I personally struggle with. I am I guess my own worst enemy at times. I have a problem coming to the realization that I have limitations. I like to think I can do everything I used to do. I can not. There is a part of me that feels if I can't do everything I feel I need to, that I have failed. This is ridiculous and I know it. I just have to learn that there is absolutely nothing wrong with asking for help. No one makes me feel this way except for myself.
Yesterday (and it was 100 degrees outside) I decided I was going to go grocery shopping. Sounds easy right? I am one of those people who will shop at different stores. Depending on what's on sale that week. This was easy 6 years ago before I was diagnosed with MS. I used to do it all! I worked 40+ hours a week. I did all the cooking, cleaning, laundry and shopping. Those days are gone and I need to stop thinking I can still do all this alone.
Ok back to my story. I had a brilliant idea to head out in the sweltering heat and go grocery shopping. Sounds easy if I could just go to one store....but I can't!! I need to stretch my food budget just like everyone else. So my dumb ass self goes to 3 different stores. I already was tired due to lack of sleep. By the time I came home I was walking like a combo of Frankenstein and Quasimodo! I could hardly stand upright! I rested and cooled down. Then I made dinner. After my husband left for work at midnight. I did dishes then crawled into the shower. My body felt like it had been hit by a car. I was in so much pain I was uncomfortable in my bed. You would have thought I would have fallen asleep quickly. NO! When we and I mean me too mistreat our body's we will pay for it! I thought I was gonna die. As I laid there in pain barley able to roll over. I quickly came to the rationalization that "I CAN NOT DO EVERYTHING!! I have decided I will only head out to 1 store a day. I will utilize my husband and son more often. I have to learn that I can ask for help and it does not make me seem weak. I can go to bed without my house spotless and looking like its ready for a photo shoot! You would be proud of me. I didn't even straighten the pillows on my couch last night! Lol baby steps!
Today I am still paying for my bad choices yesterday. I was so sick and fatigued today. I stayed in bed until 4:30 this afternoon. Plus I am so tired that I am ready for bed now and it's 11:00 pm. As soon as I get my husband off to work in an hour. I am jumping in bed!
Please we all need to learn our limitations. Asking for help is a good thing. It does not mean we are handicapped it means we are smart and handi-capable!! Have a good day and remember to.....LAUGH!!
Trivia:
Yesterday's answer is: No...windows rolled up INCREASES mileage.
Today's question: What is the most nutritious fruit?
Oh how I hate the heat!!! My motto is "I would rather freeze my butt off any day then sweat it off!"
I found some great info on MS and heat tolerance.
For many of us with multiple sclerosis (MS), summer fills us with anxiety. Hot weather means MS symptoms and, well, suffering. As most people are going outside to enjoy the hot weather, we are drawing the blinds and resigning ourselves to cleaning out closets and reading novels. Even vacations are a challenge, as each year we look for places further from the equator or “adventures” that take place in air-conditioned coolness.
Heat intolerance in MS shows up as a "pseudoexacerbation" -- the experience of having symptoms appear or worsen due to heat exposure.
Threshold: Some people can be just fine taking a brisk walk in 90-degree weather, as long as they avoid the sun and drink cold beverages. Others start feeling symptoms at much lower temperatures and with much less activity. I am one of those people who can't even handle walking in 80 degree weather!
What Causes Heat Intolerance?
As people with MS, we have plaques on our nerves where demyelination has taken place. This slows the ability of the nerves to function, and heat further slows down nerve impulse transmission in demylinated regions. Even a very slight increase of as little as one-quarter to one-half a degree in the body’s core temperature is enough to cause symptoms of heat intolerance. Ya that's me!! 1/2 a degree is about all I can handle!
The people that are the most sensitive to the heat and develop symptoms the quickest are also the most responsive to cooling down and their symptoms disappear quickly. Ok I can break out in a sweat walking to my bathroom! Stop laughing....my house is 2300 sq. feet!! Lol
There are some people who are more sensitive to cold than to heat (I would trade in a minute!), and their symptoms - especially spasticity - worsen in cold temperatures. Some of us unlucky people with MS are sensitive to both cold and heat, usually with different symptoms appearing under different temperature extremes. Ok that is worse. It seems like you would never be comfortable unless you were in your home.
My Experience
If any of you ran into me outside of my air conditioned house you would think I was about to die! First of all I am German and Irish. Which means I am bright..ok I confess I am usually so red that I am a new breed....I am PINK! Lol I am prepared when I go out to a store. I have a handkerchief to delicately dab away the enormous amout of sweat. I have a beautiful Victorian fold out fan to fan myself. I do all this while pushing a shopping cart. I know what your thinking...that's sexy!! Ha Ha! As I push my way through the store people stare at me. It still bothers me and I stress about sweating. Which just causes more sweating!
I try to go shopping in the late evening or early morning. Since I don't sleep well I like to go at 2am. Less people to see me sweating like a pig! Which is a funny saying since pigs don't sweat! I only sweat on my face and back of my hair. I have even gotten Botox injections to sweat less. Didn't work but at least my insurance paid for them.
So next time your out shopping and you see a heavy pink sweaty lady it's ME!
I hope I made you laugh about my heat issues. Have a wonderful day!
ANSWER TO YESTERDAY'S TRIVIA.
Cats have 244...38 more than humans.
Today's trivia question:
Does driving a car with the windows down increase mileage?
It is very important that we keep our brains active. When part of the brain is injured through MS, stroke or another disease. It is important to work the brain to develop new connections among neurons around the injuries site. This helps keep the brain evolving to help compensate for the deficit.
This can be done with exercises ( traditional rehabilitation), as well as playing checkers, the board game operation, taking dance lessons, word games or playing a musical instrument or similar activities that work the brain. A wide variety of activities is the best stimulation. I love working on puzzles like crosswords, sudoku, matching/ memory games. As you can see my phone is really used for all the games I play. Ohh I love playing hang man too! Boy do I kick butt in that one. With my phone I play these games against people in London, Austrialia and all over the US. It is not just fun but I have met several friends.
If you don't have s cell phone to play the games I am talking about but you have a computer. I reccomend playing games on Pogo.com it's free and has a lot of games to choose from. You can always just do it "old school way" and buy a crossword puzzle book at the grocery store. No matter which way you prefer just do it and exercise your brain everyday. It will help!!
Oh maybe I should add a trivia question at the end of the daily blog.
Trivia question:
Who has more bones a cat or a human?
Check back tomorrow for the answer. See if your right....don't you jump over to find the answer on google!!! Lol
Have a great Wednesday and remember to laugh!
Today is my 8th year Anniversay so I want to talk about love. I am mature enough now to realize I made plenty of stupid mistakes in what I thought was love. I was like everyone just wanting someone to live me for me. I went about it they wrong way. Before Match.com and Eharmony in the 90's it was personal ads in newspapers. I found myself to be popular but for the wrong reasons. They were not interested in me at all. They just wanted someone to "sleep" with them. Then the popularity of dating websites hit. I tried that too but sadly I encountered men who were themselves no "ken dolls" but wanted only a "Barbie" type of woman. I could use a lot of words to discribe myself but "Barbie" is no where on the list! Lol
In 1998 I was introduced through a friend Bobby. He was kind and caring at least that was what I thought. We married but I was not happy. After just 2 years I finally woke up and filed for divorce. March 15, 2000 was the first day of freedom and a new me. For the first time in my life I realized I was worthy of true love. I would no longer allow myself to settle for anything less. I desided that I would rather be alone then be walked on and disrespected.
I already had been diagnosed with cardiomyopathy, my heart condition. I had been in congestive heart failure twice. I realized life can be short and I wanted to be loved, truely loved and I wouldn't settle for anything less.
In 2004 a co-worker introduced me to her ex-brother in law Doug. I met him on Febuary 1, 2004 at a super bowl party. I had decided I was not going to get excited about meeting him. In the past before I went on a date I would have these feeble thoughts of "this guy will be the one", "this time he will call me". I know you all know what I am talking about! If your laughing at this it's because you've been there and done that!
I didn't know but that day was the day I found my best friend and soul mate. Doug is the only man I have truely been loved by and in love with. I didn't settle this time and it makes life so much better.
We were married for about a year when I was diagnosed with MS. Having my heart condition I had first knowledge of people and a husband leaving when I got sick. I could not help but to be afraid my husband would leave me because I had MS now too. I soon realized that was a thought that never entered into his mind. That is the difference between a man loving a woman and a 30 year old child saying he loves you.
The reason I am telling you this story is because many of us that have MS or any other disease are afraid we will be left, have been left or think we are sick so no one would love us. This is not true!!! Weather we are sick or not we have to believe that we are worthy of love and demand respect. We can not settle for anything less! Our journeys through life may be bumpy at times but we have to learn to stay strong and ride it out. Respect yourself if you ever want others to respect you. Never give up on finding your soul mate. It took 36 years for us to find each other. Sick, crippled, blind it doesn't matter we ride the bumps in life together and forever! I hope everyone out there has this kind of true love or you find it. Just remember to never settle for less then you really want. Life is too short to live with regrets.
Have a wonderful day and remember to laugh!
P.S I need to revise my list of true friends. I mistakenly left out my dear friend of over 25 year Candace. Its only because she lived in Florida and we don't see each other very often. She is a true friend one I adore and love and she knows it. I love you!
I found this picture and I thought it was perfect. I have had my share of tough days as I am sure you have too. I know it seems easier to just cry and feel sorry for ourselves. It's not! I had a breakdown a few days ago. All it accomplished was swollen eyes, headache and stressed out my body. Sometimes for me I feel better after a nights sleep. I wake up and think why did I cry? I can think clearer after I have had time to process what has happened. That's what we all need to do. Stop stressing about what we can not change. Stress is the worst thing for us. If we learn to stay calm and "roll with the punches" it's better for us. Sometimes it may be hard to do this. I try to stay strong for everyone but I slip too! Let's all try to take a deep breath and find a solution to news we receive. I hope everyone has a great Saturday night. Watch a comedy and laugh. It helps really!
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